Page 90 of Solivagant

Parts of him remained in Jo as echoes he’d left behind. The gold that held together the fractured pieces of my second love. But he wasn’t there anymore either. My Jem was gone.

I’d lost him for the final time. Grief lived inside me, as strongly as it had these last centuries. I suspected it would always be there to some extent. Because what was grief if not love with no place left to go? And I would always love him.

I also loved Jo. He would never replace Jem, because that wasn’t fair to either of them. What we had was new, like a blooming flower. One that belonged to us and that we would care for and tend to together.

My heart had been crushed and empty for so long, but Jo filled it again. He gave me hope. He gave me something worth moving forward for. And Jem had given him to me.

I would do everything in my power to treasure him, and he deserved a better home than this.

I wasn’t sure exactly what he was now. He wasn’t human, but he wasn’t Benygal either. His soul was stronger, but it wasn’t as pure and potent as a human soul. It meant that he’d be less at risk when I took him over the Bridge and back home.

We’d have to discuss that first of course, and we could wait until Jo felt ready, but I’d promised to show him the sky, and I intended to keep that promise.

There were many things I wanted to show him in my world. From the soul deer to the bunyi. I had a feeling he’d like them all. I also had to hope my den remained as I’d left it.

It was a strange feeling to be considering the future. Only one cycle of the moon prior and I had not even been able to see past the next dawn. And here, now, I was looking at building a home, at showing Jo my world, at the prospect of soul binding with him. Because I refused to ever live a day without him. I wasn’t sure how much time the transformation would add to his lifespan, but it still wouldn’t be as long as mine.

And nothing but eternity with him would ever satisfy me.

I inhaled deeply. Taking in the forest air. Taking in the trickle of water over stones. The sound of birds greeting a new day. I felt the breeze over my skin. And for the first time in centuries, I felt peace.

Jo would wake up soon. I knew it in my bones. And we would face whatever came next together.

I protected Jem’s pigs. When I’d scented him in that house and realized that was where he’d lived, I protected it from everything but time itself.

The pigs had belonged to him, I was sure of it, so I cared for and protected them too. They had been afraid of me at first, but as they grew older, they grew to trust me.

His pigs had encountered the wild ones of this area, and they had grown in number. I protected them all. They knew I was no threat to them. But few were as friendly as the piglet that Jo had attempted to steal the day I’d first seen him. She had been a favorite of mine, and she had taken a strong liking to Jo.

While he slept, she stayed close by, protecting him alongside me. She didn’t leave his side. That was why I knew something had changed as I fetched fresh water from the creek, and noticed her running through the long grass, snorting rapidly like she had something to tell me.

I scooped her up in one hand and rushed back to camp.

Jo’s tent was empty.

My heart beat rapidly in my chest. Where was he?

I placed the piglet down gently so I could focus, even though she wasn’t pleased with being ignored.

I scented him in the breeze, followed the trail through the woods as fast as my hooves would take me. Then I smelled the blood.

I broke through branches to get to him.

Closer.

Until I spotted movement in a clearing up ahead.

Jo was hunched over, his hands and arms drenched in blood. As was his mouth and neck. His tail whipped back and forth in agitation. At his feet was the freshly slaughtered body of a deer. He’d killed it with nothing but his bare hands, and now he was eating it.

I exhaled in relief. None of the blood seemed to be his.

I took a step closer, and heard him growl in warning.

“Jo?”

He flinched. Slowly, his head rose, and when he turned to look at me, I noticed the warm brown of his pupils were now a brilliant red.

For a long moment we just stared at each other in silence. Confusion was present in his eyes, and a deep aggression I could see him fighting against. I understood. The instincts of beasts were new to him. It would take him time to get used to them, to overcome them.