Page 89 of Solivagant

There was so much I wanted to tell him, and there would never be enough time holding him again to satisfy me. But his light was burning so fast. He’d be gone within minutes.

“Khorli… Tiscar Bul Thanor.”

I pressed my forehead against his. I love you too, my Jem. I will always love you.

His eyes closed. The light of his soul burned brighter. Brighter. Then it shattered. Jo’s responded. The fragments of Jem’s soul mended the fractures in Jo’s. Two souls merged into one.

A bright line burned over Jo’s throat, and down his torso from sternum to belly. Then Jem was gone, leaving behind his scars.

This time when I howled there were no gentle fingertips to silence me. I unleashed my pain. My grief.

Jo’s soul stabilized. He was weak, but no longer fading. Jem had saved him and completed the transformation. But he still needed more souls. More strength.

I had to take them in. Had to feed them to him the way Aerith had force-fed me when I’d been too weak to do so in the past.

Taking them in meant they’d no longer be here to protect Jem’s body. I had to let him go, as he’d made me promise him I would.

I howled again. Loud enough for the stone around us to crumble as one by one the golden flowers unraveled into threads of light. They came to me. Pouring into my eyes as more gold in the form of tears poured out of them.

My bones ached as they grew. My skin burned as fur melted away. My head throbbed as I took in the flowers of soul deer and antlers began to sprout where they had once stood. So much pain, and still none of it compared to the pain of losing Jem.

When the physical pain stopped, I gently cupped Jo’s face. Instead of being illuminated by the flowers I’d scattered over the ground and over Jem’s body, he was lit up by the diamond that glowed within my chest. By the blossoms upon my antlers that scraped against the tomb ceiling. By the orb that floated between them.

My thumb stroked his cheek, before raising to open his eyes. They were unseeing, for the moment. The flowers on my antlers flickered again as I started to absorb them, this time letting the gold pour from my eyes into his.

Jem had given him to me. But it was up to me now to make him strong, and to keep him safe. I would treasure him, the way Jo deserved to be treasured. The way Jem had deserved it.

His soul grew brighter, stronger. Safer.

The thread connecting us faded, and I let his eyes close once more.

I pressed my lips against his forehead. My Jo. My future. The second and last love of my life.

“Tiscar Bul Thanor, my Jo.”

45

KHORLI

Jo’s soul was shining bright and beautiful. He was getting stronger and healthier every day as the transformation continued to claim him in more subtle ways than the horns and tail. He didn’t seem to be in any pain anymore, even as the cute little tusks grew from his bottom jaw and protruded from his lips.

He already had a good amount of hair over his body, but it had thickened. Not quite fur, but thicker and softer than it had been, over his chest, stomach, arms, and legs. His tail had grown fur too, the tip of it fluffy and a warm brown like the rest of his hair.

His fingers and toes had turned a dark gray, and his nails had sharpened into claws.

He was beautiful.

He’d been sleeping for three days. He hadn’t woken up once in that time.

I wasn’t sure what to do. Surely he’d need to eat something to nourish his body soon. I’d been able to give him water, but food was difficult.

How much longer would he sleep?

What would he remember when he woke up?

I’d moved him back to his tent, after I’d cleansed his blood and sweat from the odd fabric he’d been sleeping on.

Then I’d taken apart the shrine I’d been guarding for two hundred years, and I’d laid Jem to rest. I’d buried him in our spot. There his body would stay as it became part of the land, part of this place. He wasn’t there.