Page 8 of K.I.N.: Karma Is Near

She made it a few steps.

I looked back.

She did too.

That was all it took.

Avery and me had been doing this shit for a year.

A whole fucking year.

It wasn’t supposed to last past the first time which was over a year ago.

Then it wasn’t supposed to happen again.

Then we stopped pretending it wasn’t going to happen again.

I ain’t always been a cheating-ass nigga either.

That’s the fucked-up part.

When me and Sam first got together, I was locked the fuck in. Ain’t want nobody else. Ain’t need nobody else. That was my girl, then my fiancée, then my wife. Somewhere along the way, shit changed with me.

And I couldn’t even sit here and blame Samantha for it.

My wife was beyond good to me.

Sam worked, took care of our kids, took care of home, held me down when money got funny, fucked with me when I ain’t have half the shit I had now, and never made me feel less than a man when I was trying to figure shit out. She wasn’t one of them women that embarrassed her nigga in front of people either. Whatever problem she had with me, she brought that shit to me.

Shit, even sexually, Sam had been trying. She’d been telling me for years she wanted us to switch shit up, be spontaneous, try different shit. I was the one always brushing her off.

So nah.

I ain’t cheat because my wife wasn’t doing her job.

I ain’t cheat because she stopped fucking me.

I ain’t cheat because home was miserable.

I cheated because somewhere along the way, I got comfortable having my cake and eating that motherfucker too and realized how easy it was to come home afterward and act like I hadn’t.

Then I did it again.

After a while, guilt didn’t hit the same.

I got greedy.

That’s probably the ugliest truth about me.

Simple as that.

And Samantha ain’t deserve none of that shit.

Didn’t stop me though.

“Don’t,” she said.

I smiled. “Don’t what?”