Page 137 of Everdoll

“I…” The long metal arm dropped beside her, and she visibly flinched. “Th-the staff… they didn’t approve her, sir. They thought she was… worthless. An orphan, talentless girl… but… but they just gossiped.” I stalked toward her, and she shut her eyes close, then screamed.

“They would give her leftovers! I only know this. No one wanted to serve her.”

My eyes widened. I allowed this to happen.

“Why?” I whispered in helpless anguish. “What did she do to them? Why didn’t any of you like her?”

“Please spare my life, young master! I liked Miss Mina, she was kind to me. I’m only telling you what the staff thought, sir, please—”

The maid’s body flew like a sandbag, landing on the end of the corridor. I hadn’t wanted to kill her immediately. After all, she had given me valuable information; showing mercy was only natural.

No one wanted to serve her.

So there was no need to let anyone live here.

I went down the stairs laughing violently, the sound trailing behind me before it slowly died out. I stopped. Something caught my attention. My gaze drifted toward a room on the second floor, and after a brief pause, I headed for it. Inside, Penelope was getting ready for school.

She turned to face me. As Penelope’s hairpin slipped from her hand, I wondered for the first time in hours what I actually looked like. My eyes drifted to the full-length mirror. I barely recognized the reflection staring back. My electrified long black hair hung limply beside my eyes, the strands at the back of my neck resembling a burnt tree. The hollows under my eyes were so dark they looked smeared with coal. And my eyes… they were so distant. So cold. The vibrant blue had bled into a dull gray, shriveled and clouded like the dead.

I stepped closer to the mirror. Was this the face Mina looked at with love? The one she caressed with her gentle hands? Had my precious Mina really kissed this blunt, ghostly mask? Standing there in such a wretched state, how could I ever believe I deserved her?

“Brother…”

I angled myself toward her. Though not as much as Mina, Penelope was one of the people who comforted me. But at that moment I couldn’t even bear her presence.

I just wanted to see Mina one last time, to hold her, to fall asleep in her arms. Apologize to her, tell her that I hate myself for not seeing her struggles sooner… Unlike the Mina from another dimension, my Mina was still alive. But I couldn’t reach her. I shouldn’t. Unfortunately, even now, my sinful soul still wanted nothing else but her.

Please, come back to me. I don’t give a fuck about masks anymore. Just come to me, deceive me a little more.

“I’m not your brother anymore, Nelly. Forget me. I’ll arrange the bank accounts, go to The Buzz, or…”

“Brother!” Penelope called out again. “What did you do? Tell me. What happened?”

Her words didn’t reach me. “Get out of here as soon as possible. I’m not joking.”

I stepped back into the wide corridor. I looked at the paintings on the walls. The Loxtons’ numerous historical achievements and the original photographs from the first colony they sent to Mars were displayed there.

What a shame. They should have sent them to a museum.

I entered my own room to look around. Everything still smelled like Mina, felt like Mina. She had arranged her favorite books on the shelf, placed a few duck figurines beside them. I approached slowly. My eyes welled up as I recalled countless memories, my entire body trembling.

“Why…”

I wanted to hold her. I had no right, yet I found myself reaching back, again and again, to those sacred moments. The way she laughed when she showed me her figurines. The way she placed them along my arm, my forehead, delighted with herself, and made me sit still for photographs. I wanted to wake to the mornings we had fallen asleep face to face, when she would tell me her strange dreams before she was fully conscious, her voice still soft with sleep.

Where are you? Where did you go, my precious Mina, leaving me lost in these violent waves? If you’re going to leave me in the end, why were you the first one to embrace me? I beg you, please guide me again. Please find a remedy for this darkness inside me. Please come back, please make me real again.

I gathered everything she’d touched into my lap, smelled them, laid my head on the pillow, and closed my eyes. I regretted it when I realized the blood was staining the pillow. I got up abruptly. I found the straw sack we used for fantasy role-play games. I calmly filled it with her belongings, and left the room. No matter how much I thought about it, I couldn’t think of anything else of value in the huge Loxton estate.

By the time I reached the ground floor, I was throwing servants out of my path without thinking, bodies against walls, doors left swinging. I was a spirit without a grave to return to.

Outside, Penelope was waiting in the garden with her backpack. We left without a word between us. As we crossed into the street, I triggered the explosive I had placed on the second floor.

Within seconds, the mansion bloomed into fire. Penelope stopped. So did I.

A chill moved through me, a sense of déjà vu.

That was it. Destruction. It was as if Mina had never bloomed in my life, as if nothing had changed. Penelope glanced at me, but I only watched the flames.