Page 122 of Everdoll

“I’m the one at fault now? You’re the one who always deceives me—can’t I deceive you a little too?” I sniggered through my tears and exhaled. “I really hate you.”

He clenched his fists. I had never thought he would harm me, but now, I wasn’t sure of anything. I took a few steps back. Without letting him say anything else, I headed for the metal door.

“Well… Thank you for caring me. But please, don’t follow me. Forget me.” I added timidly, afraid my own words could kill me. “From the very beginning, this was… nothing but nonsense.”

A guardian robot and his avoidant master. What a joke.

Seconds after I pressed forward, I was seized by the chin with a grip firm enough to bruise, and yanked back. Raymond drew my face inches from his, and as our eyes met, I saw tears gathering in those blue eyes for the very first time. He had said he had cried once before; if he was telling the truth, this must be the second time. What was the first time for? I didn’t know, I hadn’t asked, and I no longer cared.

“No, Mina.” His warm breath brushed my skin. I tried to free my face from his grip, but his strong fingers had completely wrapped around my jaw. “We belong to each other. You belong to me. You’ve belonged to me since that day.”

I managed to move my lips. “Who belongs to you? Which mask are you talking about?”

He remained silent. His eyes were cold, I tried to understand what they reflect, but I couldn’t. The more I stared, the more confused I became. When he pressed his lips firmly against mine, I wanted to cry once again. No, our last kiss shouldn’t be like this. Stupid Remi. The kiss was far from polite; it seemed intended to hurt, to remind me of something. I tasted metal, he bit my upper lip. His touch was so furious, applying force to obliterate my lips, and I found myself a bit confused.

So you can get angry too. Can you give me anything other than blind devotion?

I knew nothing anymore. When he pulled back, I desperately gasped for air, my half-lidded eyes lingering on his.

“Never.” His gaze was seething with rage, like a machine about to explode, scanning me. “I told you. I’ll never let you escape me. This is the first and last time.”

“Watch me.” I whispered through heavy breaths. “I can escape forever. You’ll never find me. You haven’t succeeded in all these years, after all.”

The tear that had been gathering in his blue eyes finally spilled over. Before I could look at it better, he released my jaw harshly. I staggered, struggling to keep my balance, then rubbed my chin. He turned his back on me so fast that a few tears flew through the air like fairy dust.

“Take your chip!”

He froze, but refused to face me.

“Do whatever you want with it.”

“Raymond, you need it!”

His steps faltered, he craned his neck over his shoulder, just enough for me to catch the agony in his eyes.

“I don’t. Not anymore.”

I wanted to protest, but couldn’t open my mouth as he hastened toward the mansion. When he went inside, I picked up the chip from the ground. Raymond couldn’t see me, no one could, but I was filled with shame. I pressed the chip to my heart before shutting my eyes tight. I had to leave, but my legs lost all strength. My eyes welled up again, and I drew a deep breath. I bolted from the Loxton’s garden as if a murderer were chasing me. Realizing I would never come back here again, I cast one last look over the scene behind me.

“You did the right thing.” I whispered the words aloud, trying to force my heart to believe what my mind already knew. This shallow bond wouldn’t make you happy, and Raymond would open his eyes and forget you. You will both live healthy lives apart from each other.

You did the right thing.

I waited to feel like I was no longer suffocating, but perhaps it wasn’t a feeling that came immediately. After all those years of suppressing my feelings in that labyrinth, I couldn’t reach my feelings.

I had gone back to the day Angelica died. Ever since then, Remi had kept me locked away in a crystal tank. Now, my clothes were far too thin for the world’s cold.

But I knew that the human metabolism adapts quickly to anything.

I’d be okay. I had to be.

After I left Lesse, I put the chip back around my neck. This time my hands weren’t shaking, I didn’t feel responsible for anything. I had just been entrusted with it for a little while longer, that was all. It had no meaning.

I didn’t know I was fooling myself at the time.

Other day, I kept glancing at the empty house. At my room, my bathroom…Only now did I realize how right Raymond had been about what he said in that bathroom. I had to fix her mental health first. So I could live my life properly. I wouldn’t call myself evil witch and leave the problem unsolved. I wouldn’t run away like a coward.

I would heal, not by breaking things, not destructively, but constructively…