Page 55 of Dirty Liars
It’s over.It’s all over.
All these past months; the trials, the humiliations, the triumphs … everything, it’s all been for nothing.
In one moment, one oversight by the one person I was supposed to trust, and my life is shattered.
Not just my new life, my old one too.
This time, when I look up at Hawthorne Academy there at the top of the hill, the only emotion I feel is dread.
“Sadie—” Dana, starts, but it just prompts me to start walking faster. I can’t speak to her; not now, not after what she did.
This thing, it’s mine to bear now. There’s no point avoiding it. No point in putting it off.
Better to face the truth than turn and run. Not that there’s anywheretorun.
Coming back wasn’t up to me. What was I supposed to tell Dana’s parents, that I’d decided to stay on as a permanent house guest? Or ask them to please stop by the local homeless shelter on their way to drop Dana off at school, since that’s about to be my new home?
I guess I knew this was coming eventually. It had to. I was delusional to think it would end any other way.
They’re waiting for me at the top of the hill: Dr. Baxter, two security officers, Victoria, andthem.
They are the part of this whole thing I didn’t count on. The wild card. The unexpected loss.
Astor. Blair. Wills.
It’s them that I fear seeing the most. Even after everything we’ve been through,especiallyafter everything we’ve been through, I can’t imagine a world where they’ll be able to forgive me. Still, the little spark in me that cares for them still hopes they can care for me too, despite all this.
It’s that spark, that tiny, treacherous feeling, that makes the look on their faces cut me to my core.
“Welcome back Miss White,” Dr. Baxter says, “Or should I say … MissPrice.”
I turn straight to Victoria. “You didn’t waste any time, did you?”
She just purses her lips. “How could I? Not once I found out there was aserpentin our midst.”
Dr. Baxter takes a step forward and ushers me towards the main building. “There are some people here who would very much like to speak with you,” he says, “If you would just step this way.”
“Wait.” It’s Astor’s voice.
I’ve kept my face forward, refusing to look at them so far. I can’t bear to see the hurt and betrayal on their faces so close, but I have to. I can’t keep myself from looking. They are the medusa, and I’m already turned to stone.
There’s no love left in Astor’s eyes.
“You played us for fools. I won’t forgive you for that.”
My gaze flickers to Blair, and then to Wills. Their faces are hard, matching Astor. Neither of them speaks, but neither of them looks away, either.
“You showed us exactly who you are,” Astor continues. “I’ve seen your type before; a liar, a manipulator, a con. You truly are the lowest of the low.”
The pure hatred in his voice is enough to make even Dr. Baxter have to clear his throat.
“Come now,” he says, stepping forward and putting his hand on my upper arm to drag me back inside. “We mustn’t keep them waiting.”
I’ve imagined this moment happening so many times, seen it in my nightmares, run it over in my head—but never once did it make me feel like this. All the other times where I thought I was sure to be found out, it made me panic. I was afraid, angry, and disappointed.
Instead, now that it’s really happened, I’m just numb.
I keep my eyes trained on the ground and follow Dr. Baxter inside. I am hollow, empty inside. The principal doesn’t have to tell me who it is I’m meeting.
