Page 187 of Untying the Knot
“It’s something I want to talk about. I need the details of everything so we can beat this.”
She sighs and leans back in her bed. “Myla, I’m not beating this. I would rather talk about your future and what you’re going to do.”
“Stop saying you’re not going to beat this. Have you gotten a second opinion yet? Sure, you started treatment, but there must be something else we can do, someone else we can talk to. Aren’t there experimental drugs we can try? We need to think outside of the box.”
“I know this is hard for you because you’re just now hearing about it—”
“You’re damn right this is hard for me,” I shout as I stand and push my hand through my hair. “Jesus Christ, Nichole, you should have told me. You had more than enough opportunities to tell me.”
“As you’re going through a divorce? Do you really think you could have handled all of that?”Why does everyone else believe they know what I can and can’t handle?
“The divorce could have been put on hold. All of that could have been put on hold.”
“So you could push him away?” Nichole asks. “Like you’re doing now?”
“No,” I answer, even though I know it’s a lie. “I’m not pushing him away.”
“Uh-huh. So call him, bring him in here.”
“Nichole, stop. This isn’t about him.”
“No, this is about us,” she snaps. “And as much as you might hate to admit it, Ryot is a part of us. He has been for a while. So call him up and ask him to come in here if everything is fine.”
I twist my mouth to the side, and despite it all, I reach for my phone and start to text him, but she stops me and says, “No, call him. I don’t want you sending him any kind of code.”
I roll my eyes and press his name to call him. It rings once before he answers.
“Hey, baby, everything okay?”
Just from hearing his voice, an overwhelming need to cry rockets through me.
Working through a tight throat, I say, “Can you come to Nichole’s room? She wants to talk to you.”
“Of course. Be right there.”
I hang up and smile at Nichole. “He’s coming.”
“Good.” She has a challenging look in her sunken eyes.
“Is this really necessary?”
“It is because I know how you’re feeling right now. You’re going through multiple stages of grief simultaneously, starting with denial and anger. Those two combined are not going to do you any good.”
“Denial? No, I just need the facts, Nichole. And you’re not giving them to me. And anger, well, yeah. My best friend, my . . . my sister has been sick for God knows how long, and I’m just finding out about it. So yeah, I’m angry.”
“You’re just going to be angry with me then? Is that what’s happening? Which, knowing you, will result in pushing people away, curling in on yourself, and not letting anyone in.”
“I don’t need you psychoanalyzing me right now. You’re not even giving me a goddamn second to process this. That’s not fair. You’ve known about this for what did you say? Five weeks? I haven’t. I have the right to be angry, and I have the right to believe that none of this is happening.”
“You do, but not at the expense of your marriage,” Nichole says just as Ryot walks in.
He pauses in the doorway of her room and glances between us. “Uh, would you like me to leave again?”
“Yes,” I answer.
“No,” Nichole says. “I need you to come in here and talk to me.”
“Nichole,” I say with a warning tone, but she completely ignores me.
