Page 116 of The Keeper

Space. We’d already had three days of it. That was more than enough time for her to realize she could do better than me, and that I wasn’t worth the headaches and heartaches I’d put her through over the past month.

Maybe she was right and I was being a martyr, but facts were facts. She was in the headlines because of me. She’d lost that volunteer position because of me. She was hurting because of me. Every time I was tempted to call and beg her to come back, I remembered the devastation she’d tried to hide when she was telling me what happened with Jack, and I forced myself to put the phone back down.

“How do you feel about us dating?” I asked Evie now, hoping she didn’t notice the catch in my voice. “You can tell me the truth.”

I recognized the irony of my timing. I hadn’t told her about us when we were happy, and I was bringing it up now that Carina and I were on the outs. But Evie already knew about us, and it had to be addressed. The state of our relationship didn’t change that.

My daughter perked up for the first time since she got on the call. “I one hundred percent approve,” she said in an overly formal tone, making me smile. There was the Evie I knew and missed. “Carina’s the best, and she’s so good at braiding hair. No offense, Dad. You’ve improved a lot, but she’s the queen of braids.”

“None taken.” I hesitated. “So you’re not upset about us keeping it a secret from you for a bit? Or about the…things people are saying?”

“You mean the tabloids?” Evie wrinkled her nose. “They’re stupid. Everyone knows that. Bri says they’re fun for entertainment, but they’re totally not real. And I’ll forgive you for not telling me earlier if you buy me a pony!”

I dipped my chin and narrowed my eyes. I liked how she tried to slide that in like it was a totally reasonable request. “A pony?”

“Yes. Orrrrr…a puppy?” she ventured when it became clear that I would absolutely not be buying her a pony. We lived in London. Where would I even get a pony?

“Maybe. We’ll discuss later.” This conversation was getting off track. Next thing I knew, Evie was going to ask for a pet panda.

But her request proved she really wasn’t upset, which was a relief. However, the relief quickly vanished when she continued. “If you guys get married, can I be the flower girl? I’ve always wanted to be a flower girl,” she said excitedly.

Fuck. She’d just found out about us, and she was already picturing us getting married. That was exactly what I’d been afraid of at the start of this whole thing. Evie getting too attached…and me getting too attached too.

Because she was no longer the only person who could picture what marriage and a family with Carina might look like.

Carina in a white dress, walking down the aisle toward me. Her laughter mingling with Evie’s as they ganged up on me and teased me about one thing or another. A lifetime of holding her and kissing her and loving her.

The ache in my chest intensified to the point of anguish. The future I was envisioning was a faraway dream, especially after our fight, but the fact I could picture it was almost scarier than Evie bringing it up first.

“Let’s not get ahead of ourselves,” I said, forcing another smile. “We’ve only been dating for a few months.”

“I know, but I’m just saying. I would make a great flower girl,” Evie said.

“I’ll keep that in mind.” I shifted, my nerves fraying as I prepared to switch topics. Discussing Carina was actually the easy part. Now came the hard part. “That’s not the only thing I wanted to talk to you about. I have something else to tell you. It’s about the Ander—about your grandparents. From your mom’s side.”

I’d agonized over how to break the custody news to her, but I realized there was no easy way to do it, so I kept it simple and direct. I explained that her grandparents wanted sole custody of her, but we were working with mediators to create a shared schedule instead. That meant she might spend half her time with them and the other half with me. We hadn’t settled on anything concrete yet, but we were in the process of figuring out the details.

I kept my tone as neutral as possible during my explanation. I didn’t want to alarm her, and I definitely didn’t want her to know how much hostility existed between her grandparents and me.

After I finished, Evie frowned, her earlier excitement replaced with confusion. “How would that be different from what we were doing? I saw them a lot in London too.” She hadn’t grasped the full import of what I was saying.

“Well, if they get shared custody, they won’t just be visiting. You’ll be living with them for at least part of the year.”

She looked stricken. “I have to move out of our house?”

My heart lurched painfully. Dammit. Damn the Andersons to all hell for making me do this. I took a deep breath and a moment to gather my composure before saying, “Only for part of the year. And only if that’s what the mediation decides.” I refused to say we. None of this was my choice.

Evie’s chin wobbled. “I don’t want to move out. I want to stay with you.”

The panic in her voice gutted me. “I know, sweetie,” I said, my throat tight. “I want you to stay with me too.”

“So why can’t you tell them that’s what we want? Why do we have to let someone else decide?”

Good question. But I swallowed my frustration and chose my words carefully. “I did, but it’s not entirely up to me. There are a lot of other factors we have to consider since they’re your grandparents and they have…They really want you to live with them at least part-time.”

Evie’s face turned pink and splotchy, and tears filled her eyes. “Is this my fault?” she asked in a small voice. “Because Grandma and Grandpa asked me once if I wanted to spend more time with them, and I said yes?”

The air evacuated from my lungs. “No! Absolutely not. None of this is your fault,” I said fiercely. “It’s an adult prob—situation. We just all love you very much and want to spend more time with you. Do you understand?”