Page 138 of Where We Stay

“You don’t get to disappear, call whenever it suits you and then come back talking about what Aspen needs like you’ve suddenly figured her out,” I tell her.

Courtney turns toward me. “I’m not pretending I didn’t fuck up.”

“Good,” I say flatly.

“But I’m here now,” she argues.

“And that doesn’t erase the last three years.”

“I’m not asking you to hand her over to me, Dean.” Her voice softens. “I’m asking for a chance.”

“A chance at what?” I ask.

Courtney frowns. “Being her mom.”

The answer sends a fresh wave of anger through me.

“You don’t get to switch that back on because you’ve decided you’re ready,” I tell her.

“I know,” she replies.

“Aspen isn’t a fucking reset button. You can’t come in, play mom for a month, decide it’s too hard and disappear again.”

Courtney’s face tightens. “I’m not going anywhere.”

I stare at her for a long moment. “You said that before.”

She releases a frustrated breath. “What do you want me to do, Dean?”

“Show up,” I answer.

“I am,” she insists.

“No. You turned up.” I hold her gaze. “There’s a difference.”

Hurt flashes across her face.

I don’t apologize or try to comfort her. What I said was true, and she needed to hear it.

“I’ll talk to Aspen first,” I continue. “If she wants to see you, we start small. I’ll be there every time.”

“Okay,” Courtney agrees with a slow nod.

“You don’t make promises you can’t keep,” I warn her. “You don’t tell her you’re staying forever until you’ve proven you can make it past next fucking Tuesday.”

“I understand,” she says.

“And you don’t put her in the middle of whatever happened between us. This is about what Aspen needs, not what you or I want.”

Courtney looks down at her hands again. “I know.”

I stand, signaling that the conversation is over. “I’ll contact you after I’ve spoken to her.”

“Thank you,” Courtney says quietly.

I walk away without answering.

I don’t know whether she means any of it. Words have always come easily to Courtney.