Page 112 of Hushed

“The maple leaf.”

Patrick and I exchange puzzled looks. I’m not sure if he’s joking or not. There are probably aspects to Canadian humor that I just don’t get yet.

“Please, sit,” Patrick says, extending his hand. “This is a complicated case!” he says as he settles behind his desk. “Two of them!”

“Yes,” I answer.

Bastien sits on the chair and scrutinizes the lawyer. “Are you associated with the Embassy? Or some kind of consular service?”

“Say again?” Patrick asks.

“You are versed in the laws of this country, correct?”

Patrick wrinkles his brow. “I would imagine I am,” he says, gesturing at the University of Virginia law degree behind him.

I turn to my husband, but his expression hasn’t softened a bit.

“But you were an MP, correct? I’m sorry, I’m not familiar with your…platforms.”

Patrick looks confused.

“Bastien, is something wrong that we need to talk about?” I’m now wondering if he had some traumatic run-in with military justice. They can be assholes sometimes.

“Yes, I was an MP,” Patrick says. “It’s on my website.” He opens the folder. “Now do we want to start with the matter of Saint-Jacques versus Fairhaven University or—”

“I’m sorry, which riding did you say you were from on the website?” Bastien asks.

“Riding?” Patrick asks, looking at me for confirmation.

“And what, exactly, is Ottawa’s interest in this case?” Bastien presses. “I’m very confused about why they’ve sent a political operative across the border. Don’t you have more important things to be doing in Parliament? Like, I don’t know, running the country?”

The silence that follows is dumbfounded. It lasts about five seconds before I start to laugh. “Oh, my God, what?”

Bastien turns to me. “I know you did this to be kind, and you’re the best husband ever, but you do realize that MPs are not interchangeable, right? I vote in Québec Centre for the federal elections, so you can’t just get some random Anglo and hope it fits. We’re our own sovereign province. No offense, Mr. Rudisill, but you know how Americans are.”

Patrick blinks at me and then looks at Bastien while I try to control my laugh. He swivels in his chair and pulls a framed photo off the shelf behind him. “I think this might clear that up.” He hands Bastien the photo. It’s a picture of him in fatigues with a Doberman next to him. He’s wearing a flak jacket with the words MILITARY POLICE in white.

Bastien stares at it. His jaw hangs slack in astonishment. I kiss him on the temple but I can’t help laughing, and he has to catch his glasses before they slide off his face. “Mr. Rudisill, I’m so sorry. My husband told me that you were an MP and I thought…It doesn’t matter what I thought.”

“Oh, yes it does!” I put in. “Did you honestly think I just kidnapped a random member of the Canadian Parliament in a misguided attempt to make you happy?”

He hesitates just a beat too long. “No!” he says.

I lean so far to the side of my chair I’m in danger of falling out of it. “You did!” I gasp. “Oh, my God, this is the best day of my life.”

He winces. “Let’s just say that I noticed that you would cheerfully go to extremes. I keep hoping that if I stay calm and keep referring to you as the best husband ever, you’ll…not…kidnap a random MP.”

“You are so getting laid tonight.”

“And I’m still in the room,” Patrick says. He plucks some tissues out of a box and hands them to me just to wipe my eyes with.

“This is priceless,” I say, because it is.

“It is original,” Patrick says. He is trying very hard not to smile. The more he tries to suppress it, the more I’m pretty sure he’s cracking up inside. “Incidentally, after this, I think you’d better call me Patrick.”

“I’m so sorry,” Bastien groans. “I mean, you do look like a politician. No offense. You know, generically handsome and tall. Please excuse me while I go to the washroom and try not to die of embarrassment.”

Patrick works his jaw back and forth, like he’s still deciding whether he’s taking that personally. “I’ve had a look at what Levi sent me. Thank you for your very thorough email and your stellar research. If you want to consider the law, you should. This is excellent work. Now, I’ve only had part of your stuff in front of me for about four days, so this preliminary meeting is going to be me telling you what the case looks like from this first assessment. If something comes up that changes that assessment, we’ll have another conversation. Nothing today is final by any means.”