Page 87 of Under Water

I want to believe that everything with Rune is perfect—and will stay perfect.

But it’s already been a lot.

“North and Leo’s will be a good test,” I tell him.

He swallows heavily. I know North told him about house-sitting for them while they’re gone, and it would be a very good test. A very good, very different sort of test.

“Yeah,” he finally murmurs. He removes his hand, but before I can be hurt about it, I notice all the kids running toward the fence, and the cars start to move forward. “I’d like to swing by there today or tomorrow, if you don’t mind. I want to make sure Elio can get around the place.”

I grin. “Yes, let’s do that. Leo’s there right now, and he’d love to see Elio again.”

Rune’s cheeks pink, and he nods. When he rolls to a stop again, he looks over at me. “I keep waiting for the red flag. Hell, even the slightly beige flag.”

“Ouch?” I press my hand to my chest.

He shakes his head quickly. “Not because I think you are a red flag. It’s just…” His head flops back against the seat, and he closes his eyes. “It’s never been easy like this. Not once. And every single time I’ve ever dropped my guard⁠—”

“It went bad,” I answer for him.

He nods, looking miserable. “I want to have faith that I can have this one good thing.”

“You can,” I remind him. “And I’ll do my best to remember to be patient for you until you finally trust that this—us—isn’t going to fall apart.”

I shouldn’t be making this promise now. Not this early. But the heaviness of it sits in my chest: a universal truth that I have to carry with me until Rune is ready to share the burden.

I don’t love him yet, I don’t think. But I will.

And this thing between us feels like an actual forever, and I’m not letting it go without a fight.

EIGHTEEN

RUNE

Before Elio gets in the car, Easton hops on a call with his brother and gets the okay for us to head out there. My heart’s beating a slow, steady pattern in my chest, but it feels like it’s going to kick off at any second.

Easton keeps me calm. His presence is soothing, and every time I feel even the slightest spark of anxiety, he’s there with careful words to calm my nerves. But while Neal wasn’t as charming as Easton, he was still charming at the beginning.

Every time there was a red flag—every time he did something that made me want to call it off—he convinced me to stay. He convinced me to have faith. He had reasons and excuses for everything, and it was easy to convince myself I was reading too much into it.

And then we moved in together.

And then we got married.

We went from zero to husbands in the span of eight months, and it was the worst mistake of my life. I can’t do that again.

Of course, Easton isn’t proposing. He isn’t asking me to move in with him. He’s given me sanctuary to keep my son safe while Neal acts like the town’s biggest fucking jackass, and we’re house-sitting for his brother together.

He suggested camping in a way where Elio would be included instead of suggesting I drop him on my parents and go play single and childless for a while. He’s considered the both of us at every turn without making it seem like he’s sacrificing anything.

So maybe, while I can’t have faith, I can let him have it for the both of us. For now.

Until I’m braver.

“Can we stop for chicken nuggets?” I blink out of my thoughts and glance at Elio in the mirror. He’s grinning at me. “Please? I’m starving. They literally starve me at school.”

“If your generation causes the dictionary to change the definition of literally, I’m going to start a revolution to take away all your smartphones,” I tell him.

He grins. “Nuggetsssss.”