Page 65 of Under Water

I swallow heavily. It’s a wonder Rune didn’t spot it, considering everyone else did. “I’m not going to worry about that right now.”

His eyes narrow. “Did something happen? Did he reject you? Did he make you feel like shit about yourself? Because I love him, but if he hurt you, I will tear his guts out one gut at a time and⁠—”

“Relax. He didn’t say anything.” No. He just took me apart with his hands and rearranged my entire world. But I can tell North about that after Rune feels like it’s safe. “The person I’m with right now, ah—it’s kind of…complicated. And he asked me to keep it quiet.”

North looks angry for a second, and then his shoulders sag. “Will I like him?”

“Yes.”

“Would I have gone for him if I hadn’t met Leo?”

I snort. “Uh…no. I don’t think so.”

North and Rune had plenty of opportunity, but they never went there.

He hums. “Is it Teddy?”

“Oh my god, no. Teddy’s like family. That would feel too weird.”

“He’s hot though,” North says.

He is. And I feel my face start to light up because although Teddy hadn’t noticed me when he came into the office, he was there. I knew that at any second, he could find me there with Rune’s dick down my throat and…fuck.

I almost came in my pants under the desk, and I don’t want to risk getting hard now. Rune seems pretty convinced he could talk me over the edge, and I’m pretty convinced we wouldn’t even need the talking part.

“Anyway, I’m still processing,” I tell him.

He flops the other way on the couch and puts his feet in my lap, and I immediately begin to rub them. “I’m kind of sad I lost my token straight friend.”

“Dude.”

He grins. “What? It was fun to get people all worked up about you and then say, ‘Oh, he’s straight, sorry.’”

“Yeah, so fun,” I tell him dryly.

He sits up on his elbows. “You really never wanted to bone those other guys?”

I shrug. “I mean, I noticed some of them were hot, but…no. Not really.”

He hums and lies back down. “Maybe you’re demisexual.”

“I’m what?”

“It’s like…” His hand flutters in the air the way he does when he’s thinking really hard. “It’s like, you need a strong emotional connection to someone before you can be sexually attracted to them.”

I’m not entirely sure that fits. Rune always hated me, but I was so attached to him, long before I realized it was a crush. I always wanted him to like me, to tell me I was doing a good job.

That I wasn’t a total fuckup.

And if I’m honest with myself, it was like that with most of my girlfriends too. I always needed to know them—to share something with them that was deep and personal before I really felt something.

“It could be,” I concede. I don’t really fully understand myself right now, but I’m not sure any of that matters. I’m into one guy, and for me, that’s enough.

He looks pleased with himself, but only for a second. Then he sits up again with an even louder gasp. “Wait! That means it’s someone we know.”

I slap a hand over my face. “North, please. I am begging you to stop.”

“What? Why?”