Page 52 of Under Water

“You okay?”

I realize I’ve stopped walking, and I shoot him a sheepish grin before hurrying toward the clearing. Rune races to catch up, then comes to a skidding halt.

“Holy fuck.”

I laugh. “I had the same reaction when he first showed me. I told him I was moving in.”

“What did he say?”

“He told me to fuck off.”

Rune laughs. The sound is strained and soft, but I know it’s because of everything he’s dealt with today. He jogs a couple of steps closer, then peers in through the window. “You brought me to hang out in here?”

“Yeah. Leo gave me the code, and he also said that whatever’s going on, he’s got your back and to call him if you need him.”

Rune looks back at me, his eyes a little less sad now. “He’s a good guy.”

“The best. Way better than me.”

His mouth opens, then shuts, and he just answers with a sigh.

It’s better than him agreeing, I suppose. Stepping past him, I walk to the door and flip the lid on the keypad and enter the code. It beeps and glows green, and then the dead bolt falls back with a clicking thud.

Pushing the door open, I rear back. It’s muggy as shit and super hot, which means North hasn’t been using it since Leo’s been gone. Rune makes a noise of discomfort as he follows me in, but I walk over to the wall and hit the button to open the right-side windows, and then the button for the ceiling fan.

It takes less than a minute for cool air to start drifting through, and Rune tips his head up to look at the afternoon sky.

“I bet he’ll write a million books in here,” he says.

“Or none. The last time we talked, he wasn’t sure he wanted to keep up the whole writing thing. He’s been trying to figure himself out now that he’s really moving on from his first marriage.”

We don’t talk much, but when we do, Leo likes to tell me things that matter, and I hoard all that inside me because there was a while there when he told me nothing at all. And then a while where we weren’t sure he’d ever be able to tell me anything again.

“Did you like his husband?” Rune asks as he walks over to the swing bed. He taps the thick wooden frame, then sits down and kicks his feet a bit.

“No. I…I mean, I hate to be a dick about a dead guy, but he wasn’t nice. He was patronizing and condescending. He made Leo feel small, and every time I came around to visit, he acted like I was some himbo who didn’t know right from left.”

Rune frowns. “You never said anything?”

I snort and roll my eyes. “I said a lot. Too much. It kind of made Leo not want to talk to me for a while. But, uh…well. We got over that.” Walking over, I gently sit, trying to read him for any discomfort, but he just scoots closer and then swings his feet harder.

The motion is very soothing.

“Did people talk to you about Neal?”

Rune looks at me, then falls back into the pillows and puts his arms behind his head. “Not at first. My mom was still busy helping my sister through her twins’ toddler years, and helping me with Elio, and my dad has always struggled with knowing when he should say something and when to keep his mouth shut. When my mom did say something, it was too late. We were already married.”

I settle back onto my elbows. “You blame them?”

“No. God, no. My parents are amazing, and I’d be lost without them. If anything, I blame myself for being a fucking moron, even though they raised me better.”

A little wrinkle appears between his brows, and I can’t help myself. I turn and rest on one elbow and use my free hand to trace a touch over the spot. He doesn’t tense up, and I consider that a win.

“You’re allowed to make mistakes. Even big, catastrophic ones. You know that, right?”

He raises a brow. “You learn that in therapy?”

“Actually, yeah. After the, uh…the incident with the kid.”