Page 74 of The Duchess’ Second Chance

Sampson pointed at Oakwell again in warning, and though the other man sneered angrily, he was too much of a coward to move. He did nothing at all as Sampson gently offered Amanda his arm, as she took it and allowed herself to be led back to the house.

“Oh, good, you found her.” Dorothy was waiting just inside, wringing her hands. “Is everything all right?”

“Everything is fine,” Sampson said, “although you may like to let your husband know that an uninvited guest is out on the garden path. I’m going to take my wife home now. Thank you for your hospitality this evening.”

“We’ll see you again very soon, I hope?” Dorothy asked.

“I’ll be in touch with you Dorothy,” Amanda said softly. “I can promise you that.”

Sampson supposed that what she was really saying was that she couldn’t promise they would be in contact together. The next time she saw her friend, would she be with her husband? Or would she be on her own?

The fact that neither one of us knows the answer to that is proof of just how badly I have bungled this whole business. At no point did I handle this marriage the way I should have. I’ve failed her.

They made their way out to the carriage, and Sampson helped Amanda in, wondering if he might have ruined things permanently between the two of them—or if, perhaps, there was still a chance to put things right. If he could still make something good out of this marriage, find a way to honor the friend he had lost…and give Amanda the future she really deserved.

CHAPTER 37

“Iwas telling the truth,” Amanda said quietly.

“I know you were.” She had never seen him angry like this. He couldn’t even sit still. He kept leaning forward, clasping his hands together, then letting out a deep sigh and pushing himself back in his chair. The rocking of the carriage seemed not to help at all. She’d have hoped it would soothe his nerves, but it hadn’t.

To be fair, it wasn’t doing that for Amanda either. If anything, the tension in her body had only increased since they had left the dinner party. She felt as if Sampson was about to start shouting at any moment. Worse yet, he might not speak to her at all. Neither seemed bearable.

“You believe me?” she asked. “I mean, that he dragged me out into the garden?”

He glanced at her. “I wouldn’t have been angry with you if you had gone voluntarily,” he said. “I’d have preferred it.”

“You would have preferred me to want to be out in the garden with another man?” She stared at him. “I suppose you really don’t want this marriage, if that’s something you wish for.”

He sighed. “I meant that I would rather know you had gone on your own than to be dragged,” he said. “I don’t like the idea of someone treating you in that way.”

She looked out the window. “I’m so tired of trying to decode the things you say.”

“I don’t know what that means.”

“You tell me that you want to marry me because you made a promise to George…but then I find out that isn’t exactly true,” she explained. “And then you kiss me. And then you tell me you want an annulment. You tell me that you’ll give me anything I want in a marriage, including a child, but the moment we share a brief kiss, you change your mind. I don’t know what to think anymore. It’s clear that I’m falling short in some way. And now I hear you say that you’d be just as happy for me to have been out on the garden path with Lord Oakwell, of all people…of my own volition. If you want this marriage to end, say as much, and I’ll give you whatever you want. I just can’t spend another day trying to guess at what that is. It’s too tiring.”

“I wanted to think you were out with him by your own will because it would mean he wasn’t treating you violently, Amanda! Don’t you understand that?” He raked a hand through his hair. “I can’t bear the idea of that man putting his hands on you. It’s the reason I interceded in your marriage in the first place. I wanted the pieces of George’s life to be taken care of. I may not have made him that promise, but you must know he wouldn’t have wanted to see you mistreated. He was a very good man.”

“I know that,” Amanda said quietly. “I know he would have wanted me treated well…whatever that might mean.”

“If I could believe that you wanted to be with Lord Oakwell, I would never have stepped in,” Sampson said. “But I can’t believe anyone could be happy in a marriage to that man.”

“You wish I could, though,” she surmised. “Then you wouldn’t have had to involve yourself. You wouldn’t have had to marry me if you could have convinced yourself I could have a happy life with him.”

He sighed. “For someone who’s tired of guessing, you do seem to keep doing it.”

“Explain to me, then,” she said. “Explain why you asked me for an annulment immediately after kissing me. What should I have concluded from that, if not that you wished we had never married?”

“I didn’t ask you for an annulment.”

She scoffed in disbelief.

“I didn’t,” he said, his eyes blazing. “I offered you one.”

“What do you imagine the difference to be?”

“The difference is that I thought I was giving you something you’d want,” he said. “I thought you wanted a home for yourself and Rose. An escape from a life in which you felt pressure to marry. Safety and security. And then I ruined all that by falling in love with you—by kissing you—and I knew you would never be able to trust me again. You would never be able to see me as someone who just wanted to offer you that security without demanding anything in return, because the truth is that I have started to want things in return. Things that I have no right to want from you. I offered you your freedom so that you could be rid of me, Amanda. You owe me nothing. You have no obligation to remain with me.”