Page 81 of To Steal a Duchess

“I…” she whispered, “All right.”

He cleared his throat, his voice firm, and she did not know what to do with it. “Pickle will keep you company.”

With that, he left.

Chapter Twenty-Three

The moment Nancy entered the parlor, she took one look at Eloise and fell into the seat at her side on the couch.

“Heavens, why do you look so drawn? I know we are not seeing a great deal of sunlight as of late, but you are shockingly pale, Eloise.”

“Oh, come now, we must speak of your honeymoon instead.” Eloise tried to inject enthusiasm into her voice, but she was weak from being unwell, and the fact that she had barely slept from worrying over her potential predicament.

“It was wonderful,” Nancy said, batting her hand in dismissal. “Now tell me why you look so sullen. Your under-eyes are so purple they look bruised.” Her eyes widened, her hand rising to her mouth. Nancy grasped Eloise’s hand with her other one, pulling it into her lap. “Please, do not say that Dorian⁠—”

“Goodness, no!” Eloise shook her head furiously. “No, he would never do such a thing.”

“Good.” Nancy did not let go of her hand, still. “I did not think so, but I am fearing the worst the longer you do not speak.”

“I…” Eloise pulled her hand back to idly pull at a loose thread of one of her couch cushions. “I am not sleeping well as of late. I… I am struggling with nausea and an ever-churning stomach, and I have been assessed by a physician, and…” Unable to speak the words aloud, no matter how many times she had tried, Eloise let her hand drift toward her stomach.

She was still flat through her dress, but she had convinced herself that she was rounding, just slightly, when she was in her nightgown.

Nancy’s eyes widened when she realized.

“Oh, Eloise. Is this not good news? You look frightened. I thought you wished for children, and now you and your husband are getting on well. He looks at you as though⁠—”

“He has barely looked at me since the physician left,” Eloise said sharply. She winced. “Sorry, I do not mean to snap. It is just… I am frightened, and we are getting on well. But that is the problem: our relationship is blossoming only just now. It… it feels too soon, especially since we have just begun to want each other in such ways.” Her cheeks flushed.

“I am happy that you are,” Nancy told her. “But would a child not bring you closer together?”

“Or it could utterly tear us apart. It could strain our relationship, or perhaps change it, before we even know what we are doing ourselves. Things between us were tentative for so long, it is impossible not to be worried.”

Her teeth caught her lower lip. “It is impossible to fret that I will trap the… three of us… in a family like I grew up in. Dorian will feel obliged to raise his child, and I will be hesitant, wondering if I ruined our attraction before bringing a child into the world.”

“Eloise.” Nancy pulled her closer, letting Eloise rest her head on her shoulder. “You have not chosen this. Whenever a man takes his wife in such ways, there is always a risk. He will have known.”

“But that is also the problem,” Eloise whispered. “He wanted to keep me at arms’ length, and now I have found out why. He did not want this.” Upset, she gestured pointedly at her stomach. “I feel as though I have pressured him into it, and now we can barely look at one another. I feel wretched, and exhausted, and⁠—”

She cut herself off, barely daring to let herself think her next thought.

“And what?” Of course Nancy would not let her stop speaking so severely.

“And happy,” Eloise murmured, tears rising to her eyes. She pressed her fingers to them, trying to wipe them away before they fell.

“Heavens, I feel foolish. A small part of me is happy, Nancy, and I feel guilty for it. I am conflicted. I might be having a child, and my husband does not love me, and I do not wish to think about rounding out the months, or holding my baby son or daughter for the first time, or seeing if they have Dorian’s or my eyes. But I cannot stop thinking of it.”

Her tears finally fell properly, and she heaved.

“What am I to do?” Her voice was so thin.

Nancy’s arms went around her, holding her close. “You let time take control of this. You do not know for certain, and it sounds as though you need to speak with Dorian himself. Share your worries. Make him look at you and listen, as you once did, for you cannot go through this alone, and truly? I do not think he should, either.”

“What if I have ruined everything?” Eloise asked through her tears. “He was just starting to hold me at night, and we have spent several wonderful days together already. I did not know such a thing could feel like that, but… he makes me feel as though I have caught every wind in my sail, every wave crashing over me, every star on a clear night. I just want him to come back to me.”

“And he will.” Nancy linked her fingers through Eloise’s, comforting and supportive all at once. “You both have needed this time alone, but now it is time to come back together, and if he cannot realize that then I will smack him with my fan.”

The threat got a small, teary laugh out of Eloise as she nodded.