Page 42 of Don’t Look Down

“There you go.” His voice is low, almost stolen away by the wind. “Just look at me, Princess. Don’t look down. It’s just you and me.”

“You and me,” I repeat breathlessly.

“If that’s what you want.”

I’m not sure what I want anymore. I guess I’d say I’d like to make it out of this with no broken bones and bloodshed. We could turn around and get down the way we came.

But I realize in this moment, looking at him, then out toward the sea, I don’t want the safe choice. I like the adrenaline fueling my thoughts and pushing the logical ones aside.

And I think he’s right. I’d like to see what I’m capable of if I allow myself to go there.

“Don’t look down,” I repeat to myself as I cling to Beau’s hand and let him fling us both into free fall.

Fifteen

The first thought that registers when I break the surface is I’m alive. My legs are kicking, my arms are swinging, so I’m not paralyzed. No pain registers anywhere on my body, so I didn’t break anything.

I gasp for air, and the saltwater stings my eyes as I blink to clear them. There was nothing and then there was everything. A few moments, suspended in time, where it truly felt as if the world stopped spinning for just the two of us.

A few, glorious seconds.

Everything comes into crystal-clear focus.

Beau treads water in front of me. His hair is plastered away from his face. And God, his face. His skin is glowing the orange haze of the sunset. The blue of his eyes sparkle and dance with the water reflecting in them. The smile that stretches across his face reminds me of the one he flashed me on the roof, when I thought for the first time that it was a real Beau smile. Not the one put on for the rest of the world.

We just fell through the air, crashed into the water, and yet, I’ve never seen him more at ease.

Pure, unadulterated joy flows through me, sizzling out the nerves I trembled with only moments before. “I haven’t… I’ve never felt this alive my whole life!” I launch into a fit of laughter that sounds borderline maniacal, but I can’t help it. “Holy hell. We just jumped off a cliff!”

Beau chuckles with me. “We just jumped off a cliff,” he repeats.

I tip my head back, unable to stop the laughter pouring out. My hair sloshes in the water, and it feels cool against my scalp. When my ears dunk beneath, the silence is different than the silence of my flat, the silence at night, the silence that usually sits in my head.

This silence feels awake somehow. Like a restoration, a calming reprieve. I shut my eyes, golden hour shining through the thin petals of my lids.

A hand clasps my waist. Beau helping me float. Letting me enjoy this moment where everything feels possible. Where I didn’t allow my fear to override my curiosity.

Quite possibly, as he pointed out meters above us, for the first time in my life. He doesn’t rush me along. Simply holds me while I enjoy the moment.

After what could be a lifetime, or a few stolen moments, I lift my head and open my eyes.

Beau swims right next to me, face close enough to see the light stubble on his cheeks. He looks younger and wiser all at once as the setting sun illuminates his features. A droplet of water clings to his top lip.

I don’t hesitate.

I lick it off with my tongue, then trace the seam of his lips. It’s not smooth, and it’s difficult while trying to tread water, but it’s right.

The salt bursts on my tastebuds, only to be replaced by the taste of Beau. He immediately welcomes my kiss, dragging me closer in the water. Our heads bob with the waves, sometimes breaking contact, and he groans in frustration as a wave fully pulls us apart.

“Shore. Now,” he demands and starts swimming. He stays next to me the entire way, but I don’t even notice the burn of my muscles due to the strain.

My mind is floating, just like my body.

We reach the bank and finally my toes dig into the sand. “Watch your step,” Beau warns. He holds my hand as we go from swimming, to walking, the water growing more and more shallow.

My dress clings to my skin the moment we’re out. It sticks to my legs in a way that makes me cringe, but when I look at Beau, all that is forgotten.

His pale-blue button-up hangs open and limp, dripping water onto the sand. The white shirt he wears beneath is completely see-through, showcasing the lines of his chest and abs.