Page 44 of Miss Ridley and the Duke

Mary Shelley’s Frankenstein

* * *

Philip froze as a turmoil of emotions hit him. On the one hand, he felt joy. Other than his parents, no one had ever said that to him. On the other hand, he was horrified. Why horror was not clear, other than no one had ever told him that!

He had wanted to win Jane’s love but never had. Since her death, he had had no thoughts or hopes of love, just partnership.

Annabel squirmed before babbling out with high nerves, “I mean I love that you care about my happiness, I love that so much.”

Philip rolled away and sat up. Uncertain what to say or do, he jumped from the bed and walked to the washbasin. Pouring water from the jug, he dampened a towel and dabbed at his face, welcoming the chill as he attempted to gather his thoughts. Bemused, he returned to the bed.

Annabel flinched away from him and scrambled to the side of the bed and turned her back to him while she cleaned herself. “Do not concern yourself. My apologies. I did not mean to say that to you or put you under any pressure, so no need to concern yourself … I-I am sorry.” She slowed down on the last, her voice thick. He perceived she was trying to not cry and felt appalled. What did one say next? It was all … so unexpected, and he did not know how he felt, so how could he respond?

“Annabel, I hold you in the highest esteem. You are attractive and vibrant and smart as a whip. I⁠—”

“Please, Philip, it is all right. You do not have to say anything. This changes nothing. I am not expecting anything. Can we pretend I did not say it … please!” Her shoulders shook slightly as she lost the battle to hold back her tears. He could hear her muffled sniffs beneath her heaving breath.

His heart was breaking. He did not know what to do in this situation; he was so ill-equipped to handle such emotions. His first wife had despised him, and his new wife had surprised him with a declaration of love he was unprepared to hear. He floundered, staring at his miserable, sweet Annabel hunched in the far corner of the enormous bed. He sifted through his thoughts and tried again.

“Annabel, I admire you. You are courage and loyalty and honor. You fill my life⁠—”

“Richard did not betray you!” she yelled at the wall she was facing.

“What?”

“Jane Marley was born a twin!” she blurted out. “His name was Richard. He died falling out of a tree when they were ten, and Jane was never the same again. She called for him for many months after he died, suffering from nightmares that she woke screaming from. Mary told me all about it when I questioned her after I read about the Marley family in Debrett’s Peerage.”

“What?” Philip felt like his mind was coming undone.

“I am not loyal or honorable. I’m definitely not brave. I did not tell you when I discovered the truth. I hoped you would never find out. So, you see, you do not owe me any declarations of love. I do not deserve them. I wanted to be selfish. I did not want to tell you that Richard might have hurt me, but he never betrayed you. You should find Richard. You deserve to have a friend. The one friend that did not betray you or keep any secrets, as it turns out.”

Philip had not experienced such confusion since his late wife’s illness and death. He could not think until one point flew out to hit him square on.

Richard did not betray me!

He had thrown his best friend out of his house and cut off all communication with him, and Richard had done nothing to deserve it! He had stolen the man’s bride, justifying his desire for Annabel with the fact that Richard deserved it.

“Is this why we had that strange conversation about the Marley family?”

Annabel tensed. Philip waited during the pregnant pause until she finally answered, “Yes.”

“Faith! I need to speak to Richard!”

“Yes.”

“He should be in residence at Saunton Park at this time of the year. If I leave at first light, I can be there by the evening. I must take care of this, and then I will return. I … emotions are turbulent at this moment, and … I think … I think it would be best for us both to spend a day or two clearing our heads, and we can talk when I return. Does that make sense?”

“Yes.”

Philip barely noticed Annabel’s dull response as he hurried to dress, his mind distracted by the implications of how he had severed a close relationship over a ridiculous misunderstanding. He needed to clear this matter up—stuff! He had just stolen the man’s bride without the slightest twinge of conscience!

The man may have done ill to Annabel, but not himself, and although the outcome would not have differed, the execution could have been more adroit had he known there was no reason to be personally outraged with the man.

* * *

As Philip rushed from her room, Annabel stared vacantly at the wall in front of her. She could not believe what a muck she had made of her promising new marriage. She found she did not like herself as she thought about how she had suppressed her discovery.

And justified it.