Page 79 of Out of Left Field

She frowned. “You think it’s obvious, don’t you?”

“I have an outside perspective. And, I might add, a keen interest in your happiness.”

She flopped back onto the blanket, looking up at the sky. If we weren’t in public I would get close and nuzzle her skin, but as it was her family was a few yards away, the park was full of strangers, and besides, Kate was upset. “Hit me with it.”

“Well for one, I suspect you have a little of your father in you. You love your work. He loves his.”

She groaned. “Don’t say that. I don’t want to empathize with him.”

“But more than that,” I steered quickly away, “you don’t want to get hurt.”

“That makes no sense. I know perfectly well Mom and Allie aren’t going anywhere.” But she frowned as she realized I was right. “Well fuck! There is a part of me that’s just waiting for them to have more important things to do. I am so illogical!”

“You’re human. No one wants to feel hurt or rejected.”

She was silent for a bit, and even though I felt the need to fill all the silence with every thought in my head, I knew she needed to think, so I used every bit of self-control I had to bite my tongue.

“Thanks for inviting them to a game. I just…I just couldn’t yet.”

I laid down beside her. The puffy white afternoon clouds made funny shapes. In a month those would be thunderheads getting ready to unleash a storm, but for now the milder weather held them back. “Why? You met my family.” Were her walls between personal and professional really that thick?

Finally she huffed a laugh. “Because you have thoroughly upended my life, Isaac Anson. You swept in like a tornado and took me away with you. And I like it. I like this life I’ve been leading. It felt like reaching out would pop the bubble.”

“Now that I understand.” I reached for her hand and threaded our fingers together. “If my mom hadn’t insisted I take this job I wouldn’t have. There was no way I wanted to jeopardize the life I had. But she did push and I’m glad she did, because this new life is turning out to be even better.”

As if on cue, a bass guitar began plucking and a cymbal rattled. We didn’t say a word while the band warmed up. I didn’t need to open my eyes to know it was Kristen Holt who began singing first or Travis Brantley who joined at the chorus. For the last few years it had been hard to miss the now famous pair.

Kate rolled onto her side facing me. “I can’t believe she sang “This Is Mine”. Like, they really packaged her up as a talentless sex symbol and pretended she didn’t have this voice. The music industry is wild!”

“About as hard to believe that Travis didn’t have a breakout hit until Kristen.”

Kate ran a finger over my jawline. “I guess sometimes it takes the right partner to make everything click.”

I pretended to bite her finger, then pulled her down onto my chest. “I am definitely a better man with you in my life, Kate James.”

27

Kate

Iwas head over heels madly in love with Isaac Anson. The love songs and cool evening air helped set the mood, but it was his effortless understanding of who I was that really made the night magical. “Let’s say our goodbyes so you can walk me home.”

Isaac made a rumbling sound then kissed my cheek. “I’ll get the blanket.”

I think he was as swept up as I was. He had a low-lidded smolder going on that was new. It made my heart beat faster.

Allie left with Ellen an hour earlier. School night and all. Mom waited under the tent for Dad—the man I tried to look at differently after Isaac’s words hit me hard. Was I like him? Even a little? The intellectual part of me knew that it was unfair to expect a parent to be something they weren’t and never would be. Dad was human. That meant he wasn’t perfect, no matter how badly I wanted him to be. But the part of me that felt like he would never love me as much as he loved his music? I couldn’t ask her to be reasonable. I needed to feel those feelings finally.

What I did make peace with was Dad’s love of music. That was impossible to miss. He came to life on stage in ways I never saw before. I wondered why he never wanted us at his shows, but I suspected that was something he didn’t even understand himself. Or maybe there was some dark reasoning behind it. If that was the case then I didn’t want to know.

I decided to simply be happy and acknowledge that my dad was happiest when he was playing music. And, to my relief, that’s what made us different. My work made me happy, but it wasn’t what made me happi-est. Spending time with my family and friends meant much more to me. Maybe I was harder on Mom and Allie because they could hurt me more than Mei or Jeri.

“We’re heading out.”

“Did you have a good time?” Mom looked tired.

“We had a great night.” I shifted awkwardly on my feet. “Why are you still married to dad?”

Mom blinked, suddenly much more awake. “Why do you ask?”