Page 243 of Out of Left Field

I need to believe there is real love out there. That settled heavily in my chest. Why? I ignored the volleyball game and stared at the waves instead. They weren’t large here. Just gentle swells until they reached the beach and glided across the sand like a layer of glass.

Was my hesitation the exact same reason Charley rooted for us? My parents didn’t have real love. Dad was still searching for it all these years later. What if Everett and I were just good friends that were having a moment of excellent chemistry and it all faded away after a few weeks?

It would break my heart. Oh, our friendship would live on, I was fairly certain of that, but my hope that real love was possible would be shattered. I knew some people found it. Seth and Annalise were a perfect example. Isaac and Kate too. They were very happily in love and had the kind of respect for each other that meant they’d go the distance.

But not everyone found love. Maybe some people simply weren’t made for it.

I wasn’t prepared to find out if I was one of those people. I knew this all came from a place of fear and fear was the exact wrong emotion to let rule my mind, but it was hard to get past it.

“The thing is,” Charley said just loud enough to be heard over the game and the waves, “I’ve learned that protecting yourself is sometimes the thing that hurts you the most. Keeps you from having good things in your life because you’re so focused on the bad.”

I shot her a look. “Stop crawling around in my head!”

“Someone needs to. You’re not exactly hard to read, my friend. It’s hard to sit back and watch someone hurt themselves in the name of safety.”

“Isn’t safety supposed to be a good thing?”

“Not when it’s an excuse.” She grinned, proud of her ability to call me out.

Not when it’s an excuse rang through my head as I made my way up the stairs to Everett’s suite for dinner. His door was slightly ajar so I slipped inside and shut it behind me. “It’s me.” I ditched my flip flops, stepping fully into the small suite.

Aside from the bed, there was a couch and television and a kitchenette where I found Everett plating our food. “Hello gorgeous.” He brushed his hands together and then came to me, dropping a kiss on my forehead as he pulled me into his arms for a long hug.

Just that brief contact sent the butterflies racing and my skin tingling. It was intimate without pushing me. In fact, Everett hadn’t pushed me at all. He was attentive and caring, but we hadn’t kissed since he left my hotel room in a bathrobe. He made zero mention of sex or what the future held.

Not that we’d had a lot of time alone, but still, he recognized that I was in a fragile place and adjusted accordingly.

It was sweet.

He made me feel safe. So I burrowed into his broad chest and breathed him in, letting it calm me and my racing heart.

“Did you have a good day?” he asked, resting his chin on the top of my head.

“It was good but I’m tired.”

“Then you should sit. The food is ready. I thought we could eat on the balcony and enjoy the sound of the waves.”

“I like that.”

He let me go only to press his palm to the small of my back, guiding me to the sliding glass doors. His balcony was screened to keep the mosquitos and no-see-ums at bay. The breeze along the beach kept it cooler than expected. The table was set with candles and wine.

“Here you go.” He pulled out my chair.

After I sat he ran his fingers over my shoulders, digging his thumbs into the knots, then gave my scalp a gentle massage.

It turned me to instant putty. He dropped one more kiss on the top of my head and went to get the food.

Everett treated me like a queen. He was the very definition of safe. It still scared me though. And the very thought of having all our friends breathing down our necks gave me hives.

But, I realized, there was an added layer of fear I hadn’t acknowledged at all. I didn’t want them to know if we tried and failed. If only Everett and I knew what happened, I could live with it. If everyone knew then it would follow us around.

“You’re thinking hard.” He set a plate in front of me that made my mouth water. “I hope you’re not sick of seafood. Dad had an amazing morning on the water and brought fresh fish for Isaac and me. He blackened it himself.”

The fish complemented a Caesar salad and an absolutely dripping slice of garlic parmesan bread. “I could eat seafood every day.”

Everett sat across from me, the light dancing on his smile. “Same. Dad also made the dressing himself. He’s been studying the art of a good Caesar. Claims this is his best attempt yet.” His eyes flickered to mine and away, like he had a thought and decided not to share it.

Which…annoyed me. I was all tense again and my heart was beating faster. I was panicking.