Page 61 of When Elizabeth Said Yes

Elizabeth was well aware that she was being foolish. But once she had made the decision, she could not turn away from it.

She dressed quietly in a simple dress and carried her boots downstairs, padding softly down each step, not wanting to wake any of her family.

She did not really know what time it was, just that she had been lying in bed for hours, unable to sleep, and she needed to see him. She needed to tell him…

What, exactly?

She could not even quite put a name on it.

That she did not love him. No, she did not think she would be as cruel as that. And besides, she thought perhaps she could grow to love him in time.

After all, she had grown to become fond of him, had she not?

But she could not bear the weight of the knowledge that she had not accepted him for the right reasons. She needed him to know that, to go into this marriage without any falsehoods between them.

Bingley still had not proposed to Jane, even though they had shared several kisses by now, and although she wanted to believe the best of him, she could not help but worry.

And yet, Darcy… Her Darcy. He was nothing but a gentleman. She knew he would be good to her. She knew he would be a good husband.

But she could not have him tie himself to her under false pretences, even if there was a chance he would turn around and not wish to marry her. Even if she knew that would devastate her far more than she ever could have imagined.

When she got down to the kitchens, she donned her boots and then pulled out Darcy’s coat from where it had been hidden.

She had never managed to return it to him. She had told herself it was because it would be obvious to anyone present that she should not have had it. But in fact, she quite liked having a piece of him.

But she would wear it tonight. It would be hardier than her own cloak and she would be better disguised against the darkness of the night.

And she could return it to him then, couldn’t she?

She considered walking, but it was dark and she did need to return home in time to get some sleep before her wedding, if it was still going ahead. So instead she slipped into the stables and quietly saddled Chestnut before hoisting herself into the saddle and heading in the direction of Netherfield.

She did not really have a plan. She needed to speak with him, but she could not just knock on the door.

Indeed, as she rode over there, she tried to think how she might get his attention, ideally without anyone else knowing she was there. But she could not think of any sensible way of doing so.

And so she only hoped that a plan would become more apparent once she arrived there.

After all, she could not sleep. She needed to speak to him.

So she might as well at least try.

◆◆◆

Darcy had just been considering going to bed, although he was still not sure he could sleep, when he spotted something moving in the distance.

At first he thought it was simply a trick of the eye, the night giving his mind reason to think that something was there.

But then the figure moved beneath the patch of moonlight and he knew he was certainly not imagining it.

A horse and rider moving at speed through the grounds of Netherfield.

What on earth was somebody doing riding out here this time of night? He thought it must be at least three in the morning. Someone delivering an important message, perhaps. Or a madman out roaming the countryside.

He stood, but remained in the window, watching the figure, debating between going downstairs and sending someone out to see what was going on, and watching the man for himself to decide what the best course of action was.

He came closer. Netherfield was definitely the destination he was aiming for, although he began to slow as he got closer to the building itself.

And then, with a gasp, Darcy realised that although the rider rode astride and was wearing a gentleman’s coat, it was no gentleman.