Page 81 of The Reluctant Alpha

I'd won that battle, but the victory had felt hollow. Still, I'd learned something important that day: the best defense was a brutal offense. Strike first, strike hard, and make sure the other person hurt more than you did. It had gotten better over the years. I’d found true friends, but Tyler had just been an example. There had been many others. Other bullies. Many bullies.

Realization slammed into me, and I felt sick. Not just nausea, but sick to my soul. Because I hadn't defeated the bullies by being sharper or cleverer.

I'd become one of them.

And karma had arrived in the form of a professor who had taken everything from me.

I didn't know how long I sat there, crying until my throat ached and my eyes burned, but eventually, the tears stopped.

I stood, wiping my face with my sleeve, and headed for the door. I needed to find Bayer and apologize. Beg.

The pack grounds were quiet as I stepped outside, the afternoon sun filtering through the trees. I knew there’d be plenty of eyes on me even if I couldn’t see them, and I glanced down to go down the steps.

I was surprised to see Ben sitting there, his expression distant as he stared into the forest.

"Hey," I said quietly, my voice still rough from crying.

He glanced up, his eyes flickering over my tear-stained face without judgment. "Hey."

"I need to find Bayer," I said, getting straight to the point. "Do you know which gamma house he went to?"

Ben pointed. "The one at the end of the row, past the training grounds, but they’re meeting the silver-skins and the place is locked up."

My stomach dropped. "The meeting's happening now?"

"Started about five minutes ago," Ben confirmed.

I glanced at Ben and wondered why he wasn’t in the meeting. "You're not going to the meeting?"

Ben shrugged, plucking at a loose thread on his jeans. "They won’t want me there. It would complicate things."

"Complicate them how?" I asked, sitting down beside him, sensing some need. My search for Bayer would have to wait a few minutes.

Ben was quiet for a long moment. "Because of who my mom is," he finally admitted, his voice low.

I frowned. "Because Isla's a bear shifter?"

He just turned and looked at me, and I realized what I'd said. "Sorry, I know technically she's your adoptive mom, but I don't think about it." Ben smiled at that.

But then I thought about what I did know. "I know your mom was human, but so's Rhys's. I don't get how that makes a difference."

Ben sent me a puzzled look. "Emery didn't tell you?"

"Tell me what?" I saw how uncomfortable this was making Ben and hastened to reassure him. "If this was something Em thought was your decision to share, he would keep it private. We might be besties, but especially in our work, we both understood confidentiality." I squeezed his arm. "I'm not upset. It wasn't Em's secret to tell, and you certainly don't have to tell me."

"My mom isn't human. My mom’s Estrelle," Ben muttered, and I gaped.

"But…" I wanted to yell what the fuck, but I managed to close my mouth. I also wanted to know why he called Isla Mom and not Estrelle. I knew Estrelle had been very sick, but still. Then I remembered the times—the few times—Estrelle had accompanied Esther to thep packhouse and how Ben had left.

"Long story short, Estrelle had me before she worked out how to cast the curse, and a human servant took me away while Alessandro was on a hunting party. I’ve tried to talk to her since she returned but she won't see me, and I guess I remind her of her captivity. Esther says to give it time, but to be honest, I don't care."

Except I knew he did, even if he insisted not.

"My mom's Isla."

"But how does that affect—"

"Esther says Estrelle bound me so I would be human. So I could exist in the human world, and she doesn't know how to undo it." He scoffed. "Not sure I'd want her to, but having a wolf would be cool if that's what I'd get." Because there was an alternative, of course.