Page 92 of Once Upon a Reckless Rogue

She had no direction in mind, just somewhere away from all the condemning eyes. She turned down a street and slipped a little on the wet cobblestones, but still she kept running. If only she had her half-boots on now. The wind whipped her hair, causing some of her hairpins to fall and make a tinkling sound as they landed. Her heart beat madly, and tears streamed down her face. She had let down the man she loved. And now he would hate her.

It was all her fault. If she had given Tomas the papers earlier, perhaps he would have known what the French were up to. She could not read it herself, so she did not know what it contained. Oh, why couldn’t she just have given them to him?

All she wanted to do was run. Run as far away from the house in Mayfair as she could. Nothing here was familiar, and she felt the first drops of rain fall, placing fat dots on her shoulders and chest. She stopped under a shopfront awning and threw up her dinner.

She should never have come here. She should have let him leave and nursed her broken heart in peace. In Spain. The more she thought about what she had done, the more convinced she was that Tomas would hate her.

Elena kept on running, turning down this road and then another into an alley until she was hopelessly lost. Her feet were aching, and her stomach rolled, but she didn’t care. She deserved to catch her death of cold or slip and break a bone. What did it matter? What did anything matter if Tomas did not love her? Then a voice in her head reminded her that she was not alone. She had their baby growing inside her.

*

When the butler announced that Elena had run out the front door, Thomas swore. Apologizing instantly to Lucinda, he grabbed his coat and ran out of the house. He was not sure why he thought she would be waiting for him outside, and when she wasn’t there, a chill of dread snaked its way down his spine and settled in the pit of his stomach. Where could she have gone?

He heard Tony call after him, but he charged on in no particular direction, just hoping he would instinctively find her. He had acted badly. She didn’t know what the papers contained. He had felt embarrassed and angry, and he had not chosen his words wisely. Now she was out in the middle of London, at night, with a fog brewing. London was dangerous at any time of the day, but especially at night. In desperation, he started calling out her name, but she did not answer no matter how loudly or how many times he called.

Tony caught up with him on horseback and led another. “You cannot find her on foot, you idiot.”

He threw the reins at him, and Thomas hauled himself into the saddle. “Where could she have gone? I was but a few minutes behind her. She does not know the city.”

“London is a maze; she would be lost soon enough. She may have headed towards the docks, if she knew which direction she needed to go but I doubt she had any such plan.”

“I should never have snapped at her. Now look at what has happened.”

“Now is not the time for blame. You go south in case she did head towards the docks, and I will go north in case she was going to try and leave the city. Oh, and one more thing. Lucinda said she is pregnant.”

Thomas ran his hand through his hair. “Is she sure?”

“Apparently, it is early days which is why she did not tell you.”

“Could I have been any more of an arse?” Thomas’s throat closed around his shame.

“We can debate about that once we have found her.”

They parted with a cacophony of hooves on cobblestones. It was so dark now that he could hardly see in front of him. A fog was rolling in and would soon envelop the whole city. The thought of Elena scared and alone wandering the foggy streets and finding herself confronted by thieves or worse, a brothel owner frightened him. A pretty young woman lost would most likely take the offer of a warm room.

Thomas shook his head to dislodge the disturbing image and called out her name again and again. As he got closer to the lower-class areas, the more concerned he got. This was hopeless. He would never find her like this. He could not see a foot in front of him, but he would not give up. If she were out here, then he would stay out here too. He will find her or die trying. She was his heart, his world, and the mother of his child. God help him; he needed to find her.

Chapter Twenty-Five

Elena sat on someone’s doorstep crying into her hands. Where did she think she would go? There was no safe place for her here. She cursed herself for being such a coward. Lucinda would have protected her, wouldn’t she? If she had just taken the accusations on the chin and agreed to them, for they would have been correct, she could have found another bed for the night and left for Spain come morning if Tomas no longer loved her or wanted her. Another trip at sea did not appeal, but what choice would she have? But she had his child to consider. No, running away from England was not the answer. She wished she had realized this sooner.

The fog seemed to be following her. No matter which way she went, it was always behind her. If only she could find something familiar. Should she knock on a door and ask for help? What if they couldn’t understand her? Then she remembered. The duke. Surely a hack would know where to take her if she said his name.

She tried to find her way back to a main road. If she could just hail one down. It was then that she saw a dim light and headed for it. It was a cantina. She could hear voices and singing. A man stood at the door smoking a cheroot.

“What you doing ’ere darlin’?” he asked. “That be a pretty dress you’re wearin’.”

He sounded friendly. She decided to try French asking if he could get her a hack. He looked at her blankly before saying, “You ain’t from around ’ere, are ya? Are you a frog?”

“Frog? No no. I am wife of Captain Markham,” she said, hoping he would understand her English.

“Are ye now?”

“I find Duke Warrington.”

“You ’is mistress?”

She didn’t know what the mistress was. “Take me to duke.”