Page 24 of Saving Texas

“Cleared of all wrongdoing by both the Ukrainian police and Doctors in Disasters,” she confirmed.

“You found that out when? Recently?”

She nodded.

“Ah, I see.”

“See what?” she asked curiously.

“The officials aren’t gonna punish you for what happened, so you’ve got it in your head to punish yourself instead. And me too, for having the nerve to fall in love with you when you think you don’t deserve it.”

Clara

Allen had always been very perceptive. I hadn’t even realized that’s what I was doing until he stated it out loud.

“I...”

One large finger came to my lips. “No need to say anything else, darlin’. I’d best be going now.”

My mind reeled from the about-face. “Leave?”

“I think maybe you’re right, we should take a break.”

I looked at him incredulously. “I thought you didn’t accept the break-up?”

He nodded, his face set in stubborn lines. “I still don’t. But the thing is, darlin’, ever since we found each other again, I’ve been doing the pursuing,” he said. “I’m in this for the long haul, but I need to know I’m not alone in this. I need to know you’re not gonna to push me away every time something happens that makes you feel your emotions.”

“But...”

He leaned forward and pressed a kiss to my forehead. “I’ll be waitin’ for you when you’re ready. I hope you don’t take seventeen years this time, because I’d like nothing better than to spend the rest of my life with the woman I love.”

I was still staring at the space where he’d been standing when I heard the front door close. It was the first time Allen had told me he loved me, even though I’d suspected that he felt that way for a long time. I chastised myself for not telling him that I felt the same, even though I’d scarcely admitted it to myself.

A few hours later, I couldn’t deal with the silence at my house anymore. Ironic because most of the time, I relished being alone. Restless and irritable, I changed my clothes and headed into the hospital. I didn’t usually work on Saturdays, but I had a lot of paperwork to catch up with – it was never-ending in this job—and it would be a good chance to check in with my weekend staff.

The ER was surprisingly empty, even for a Saturday afternoon.

“Status report,” I barked.

The resident sitting at the computer jumped when he heard my voice behind him.

“Oh, uh, Dr. Bownton, hello. I didn’t realize you were working today.”

I nodded down to the Facebook page that was open on the computer. “Clearly.”

His face turned a little red.

“Sorry, just taking a break while we had some down time.”

I resisted the urge to snap at him. I would have done the same thing when I was in my residency. Well, we didn’t have Facebook back then, but I had been known to waste some time now and then. Finding a couple of minutes of peace was a rare occurrence when you worked in the ER, and focusing on something other than the sights and sounds of pain and suffering were good for the soul, even if using the computer for personal use was against policy.

“Let’s do rounds.”

The resident logged off the computer and walked me from cubicle to cubicle, giving me a report on the handful of patients currently under our care.

“Looks like you’ve got everything under control,” I acknowledged. “I’ll be in my office for a little bit if you need me.”

I settled behind my desk and signed off on some requisitions before my eyes caught the little Dallas Cowboys teddy bear that Allen had given me a few months ago. I’d propped up my furry friend, who I’d secretly named Troy Aikman, in the corner of a bookshelf across from my desk.