Mom: How’s SK?
Artemis: Cold.
Mom: I heard you’ve been spending time with someone who might make it a little warmer.
Artemis: Stop it, Mother.
Mom: How’s Stephen? He’s so handsome, baby.
Artemis: Mother.
Mom: Yes, my beautiful little moonbeam?
Artemis: I know what you’ve been up to.
Mom: Do you?
Artemis: I do.
Mom: And?
Artemis: You will pay.
Mom:
Artemis: This is not funny.
Mom: You’re so silly, my girl.
Artemis: And you’re not nearly as clever as you think you are.
Mom: Love you too. SO MUCH.
Artemis: Goodbye, Mother.
Mom: Tell Khaos I said hello.
Artemis: I’m blocking you.
Mom: You say that every time.
Artemis: One day I will.
Mom: No, you won’t.
Mom: You love me too much to do that.
Artemis: Unfortunately.
Mom: There’s my girl.
twenty-seven
. . .
Family Group Chats Were Created By The Devil
“The greatest threat to my peace has never been strangers. It’s my family.” — A