Page 2 of Fated to the Grotesque
“Don’t question it. It’s not for us to decipher,” she stated lightly, something behind her gaze sharpening but was gone in the next blink. I would’ve missed it if I hadn’t been focused solely on our conversation. “Shit, I almost forgot the whole reason I called,” Monstera laughed. “How was the meeting with the dean? Did you get a TA job?”
My lips rolled inward, pinching together as I tried not to smirk at her antics. “Foremost, let it be known that Dean Maxwell Patkins is an asshat.”
Monstera frowned deeply, somehow managing to convey more than just her displeasure through the screen. “So, you didn’t get one?”
A smirk unfurled across my face. “I did, but you asked me how the meeting went first, be patient.” I waited and she nodded. “Dean Asshat is one of the most patronizing, cocky, and loudest people I have ever met. First, as his secretary showed me into his office, he clapped his ham sized hands together, nearly rupturing my eardrums, then he left me standing awkwardly by the visitor’s chair, not inviting me to sit down.”
“Ah, fuck. I know how stressful that type of situation can be for you, Babycakes. What did you do?” Monstera asked, her aqua eyes softening.
“Naturally, I freaked out, internally of course, deliberating on what to do, mumbling something like, ‘I guess I should sit, or…’ but eventually just seated myself. Then he laughed obnoxiously before he even deigned to speak to me.” I closed my eyes, releasing a sigh. Clearing my throat, I lowered my voice an octave, making sure to capture the faux apology in his words. “My apologies, Ms. Gowdie. How rude of me, of course you may sit down.”
Monstera’s expression darkened, reflecting my own tiny reflection on the screen, and I snort-laughed.
“What happened next?”
I nudged my glasses back into place. “I explained that I needed to secure a job on campus in order to qualify for financial aid for the summer term, and he made a big show of mock sympathy as he pretended there weren’t any positions on available. And, honestly, I would understand that and not make a fuss, especially as not as many students attend the winter and fall sessions, right?” Monstera nodded, and I continued. “But I just knew he was waiting for me to essentially prostrate myself at his feet before he relented and actually checked his damn computer.” My cheeks heated as I recalled the mortification of the dean speaking down to me.
“Please tell me you didn’t?” She questioned.
I huffed, blowing my bangs out of my eyes. “Of course not. I simply used my expert skills in making people uncomfortable without trying.” My shoulder rose and fell in a shrug. “I kept my expression blank and stared at him until he looked away.”
“You certainly showed him who was alpha,” Monstera laughed. “Let me guess, he quickly found an opening?”
“Mhm. The odd thing is the only reason he offered me the position apparently is because the librarian went missing two months ago.”
My bestie’s brows furrowed. “Missing? Did he say anything more than that?”
“No, he was pointedly vague on the details. He said, and I quote, ‘I won’t go into the matter more as it’s not relevant.’”
Her eyes widened. “How the hell isn’t it relevant that a person has gone missing?”
“My thoughts exactly,” I agreed, shaking my head. “Anyway, I haven’t told you the best part.”
She clicked her tongue. “Typical. Holding out on me as usual, such a fucking tease.”
“The position comes with a fully furnished apartment beneath the library.”
“Well, shit. It might’ve been worth putting up with his assholery for that perk. Fully furnished and free rent? Fuck-me-on-holy-days.”
My eyes darted to the passenger seat, eyeing the burden foisted upon me, and sighed. “Yeah, but now I’m paying for the earlier stare off.” Monstera opened her mouth, no doubt ready to pelt me with questions. “I’m getting there. On my way out, he basically dumped this massive pile of books in my arms, ordering me to return them to the library for him.” I twisted my phone, giving her a glimpse of said books mocking me.
“Arrogant jockstrap,” Monstera seethed, then smiled, brightening her features. “Still, you did it! I’m so proud of you. I can’t wait to hear all about your first day as assistant librarian. You’ll be amazing.”
“Speaking of which,” I turned my wrist and noted the time on my digital watch, my attention straying from the conversation as I slipped my black leather journal from my backpack. “I have to go, but I’ll call you later and fill you in. How else would I earn more darling duck companions?”
Monstera giggled. “Video call, right? Not just a vague text?” she insisted, moving her face closer to the screen and throwing me a wink.
I rolled my eyes but accepted the sometimes-overwhelming love and care of my friend. “Fine, yes, a video chat. I have to go or I’ll be late. LAMP, Mo.”
“LAMP, too.” She snickered. “Gotta love autocorrect inspired inside jokes. Check your backpack for another prezzie when you have time.”
My thumb glowed red briefly around the edges as I pressed the end call button, outlining the black tips of my coffin shaped nails, and smiled. A sigh rolled out of me as I admired the filigree and botanical pattern embossed onto the cover of my journal. My fingers skated over the raised design, enjoying the slight difference in texture, then flipped the cover back. The sound of pages ruffling filling the air as I found my forest green, velvet ribbon bookmark, then dragged my forefinger down to my schedule for the day:
10:00a.m. – Open library
Perfect, just enough time to peek into my apartment beforehand.
I grunted, hot heat slapping me in the face the moment I exited my four-door Jeep Wrangler. My quads flexed as the haphazard stack of the dean’s books tilted and a thick volume slid heavily into the bridge of my nose causing me to bite the inside of my cheek. It’s official, I loathe that prick.
