Page 100 of The Christmas Dash

I blame Gabe . . . in more ways than one.

It’s hard not to compare the two men. Gabe is hardworking and driven, too. He and I get along even better than Calvin and I do. I have more fun with Gabe, and I’m more myself with him. There’s the added bonus that I like his mom way better than I like Calvin’s family, but that wouldn’t be a deal-breaker if I had stronger feelings for Cal.

What it comes down to is that the thought of a life with Calvin is unappealing. I’d wind up feeling small, and I don’t want to live shrinking myself to fit the mold that someone else has laid out for me.

What would a life with Gabe feel like?

The question pops into my head, followed immediately by the answer.

It would be a life of love.

I grab my phone from where it toppled to the floor with all the vibrations. I’ve got two missed calls from Ivy and several texts. I read those first.

Ivy

Wake up, Beth!

Jack and I are at the café, and we just overheard Xander on the phone.

He’s going to announce the Dasher Valley 8 selection any minute.

Are you awake?

I’m calling you.

My stomach drops and then soars up into my throat. Today. It’s finally the day. I’ll find out if all I’ve done for Dash Away Books—and the Dasher Valley community—has been enough. This feels like the culmination of five years of work. More than that, really. It’ll be tangible proof that I’ve found my place in this world after a tumultuous and disoriented childhood.

I scramble to tap out a text to Ivy.

Beth

I’m up. Oh my gosh!!! I feel sick. Where are you guys?

Ivy

We’re still at the café. Meet you at the bookstore? Jack’s talking to Xander right now to get the details on when the press release will go out.

Beth

Getting ready and heading that direction.

Ivy

I’ll bring you a coffee. See you soon!

And everything’s going to be okay no matter what, Bethy. Don’t forget that.

I reply with a thumbs-up emoji. I don’t want to think about “no matter what.” I want to think about seeing my name listed with the other long-standing Dasher Valley businesses, like the Clatter Café. It’s all I’ve ever wanted.

I wish I could be with Gabe when I get the news.

This is the thought on repeat in my head as I shower in record time and blast my hair with the blow dryer, getting it half dry before shoving on a beanie. Desperate times. I slip on a long-sleeve black thermal shirt and pull up my comfy worn-in overalls before jamming my feet into my boots.

I make it to the bookstore less than thirty minutes after I woke up to Ivy’s texts. She and Jack are already there when I hurry through the front door.

Ivy’s cued up an old Nat King Cole Christmas album and the sound of his rich, old-fashioned crooning comforts my anxious heart.

“Hi!” I take off my coat and Jack steps forward, wrapping me in a hug.