Page 61 of Everdoll

I realized I missed this feeling. Being able to hug someone without fearing the moment would end. Being away from stressful relationships, not thinking I wasn’t strong enough to fight the world…

“Now, you will eat something.” His fingers brushed my jaw, tilting my face upward. “Then I’ll let you do whatever you want to me. My soul, my body, all of me will be yours to use as you wish.” Remi’s voice sounded more excited than ever before, almost humanlike. “I’ll love your mistakes, your sins, the ugliness you try to hide. I’ll love you forever. As I always did. Understood, Mina?”

My brows furrowed. No, I didn’t understand. I was waiting for the execution, I didn’t wish anyone to obey me or love me. I didn’t deserve anyone’s devotion.

My best friend devoted herself to me, and this was the result. If I brought destruction to people instead of making them smile… what was the meaning of life?

What was my purpose in life?

I was already unwanted, unloved, abandoned. And now this had come up. If I only brought destruction to others, why should I live?

“Can’t you just let me go?”

“We both know that’s not going to happen, my love.”

“Then I’ll reset you.” I reached out, stroking his black hair while he watched me with wide eyes. “I’m not sick of you, it’s just… I don’t want you to remember me like this.”

“Like this? You’re still cute.”

I frowned. “Stop lying, please.”

“I’m not…”

“Just forget everything. Everything, Remi. I’m serious.”

“If that’s what you want…” His voice was thick, the words were choking him. “I can do it. Just promise me you won’t leave me.”

“Is that a condition?”

“Yes.”

I flinched at the sharpness in his tone. “I… won’t leave you, Remi. Just erase your memory. These days… bad days. Really bad days. It’s best to erase everything. Let’s start over from scratch.” I forced a smile. “New… new beginnings, right?”

“Understood.” Remi’s lips touched my forehead, and I thought this might be the last time. “Once you’re asleep, I’ll go into standby and reset everything.”

“No! I want to see with my own eyes.”

“Why? You don’t trust me?”

“I… No… Of course, I trust you…” I didn’t know why I suddenly felt guilty; I lowered my eyes. Remi, however, was smiling.

“I won’t remember you tomorrow. Make sure you introduce yourself again. Now, sleep well, Mina.”

Sleep well? Why? If there are no fun games and butterflies, what’s the point of waking up again in this world? Why would I do that?

I was so sick of this. I wanted to disappear. Completely.

☾

Raymond

It was sheer luck Mina didn’t attend the Bernova’s funeral. It might’ve ended in disaster.

Everyone there knew me. Every single one of them. And cameras were everywhere. Even with my mask, I was tense. I quickly found Sebastian.

“Let’s head off.” The live broadcast would start soon. I couldn’t take the risk; couldn’t give the media any material. Sebastian only nodded, shrugging.

Mina couldn’t find out the truth. Not now. There had been a time when I thought of telling her, in some carefully chosen moment. But ever since Bernova’s death, Mina had shut herself off entirely. The only reason she had occasionally communicated with me was because she thought I was a damn robot.