Page 48 of Everdoll

“Are you stupid? I’m asking if you’re going to leave me.”

“Are you stupid?” Imitating my tone, he leaned closer. “Why would I do that?”

“It’s not impossible. No one knows the future.”

“I do. It’s in my code.”

He smiled slightly—a rare sight—and I didn’t dare blink, afraid to miss even a second of it. “You are inside me. Injected into me. It’s impossible to expel your presence from me.”

“That sounds romantic.” Though I could feel his eyes on me, I didn’t lift my head. Then, struck by a thought, I glanced at him. “But… does that mean I can’t reset you?”

“Reset me? Why?”

I gulped, then cleared my throat.

“Sometimes… I want to go somewhere where no one knows me. A place where no one remembers me. Don’t ask why, Remi. You wouldn’t understand, but that’s how I feel. It’s stupid.”

“It’s not.”

I shrugged. “That’s why I want to reset you. Not because I want to leave you. I just… want to escape.”

“From me?”

“From myself.”

It was just two words, but I felt as if I’d laid bare my entire soul. I couldn’t meet his gaze; I was so, so embarrassed. “You…”

Well, Remi was a safe haven for me, but sometimes, like now, his presence made me feel flustered. It was like talking to a fictional prince. Or a hauntingly beautiful doll gazed into my soul. Everything about Remi felt like a dream, that’s why I couldn’t handle his reality sometimes.

“You know so much about me. Everything about me. So if I want to escape from myself, I have to erase you too.”

“I can’t allow that.”

Huh? “Why?”

“If you go… what will I do? You know, I’m scared too, Mina.”

I watched the movement of his throat and thought how ridiculous this sentence was. Robots can’t feel fear… Remi had never mentioned any of his feelings until now. I sometimes saw him looking sad, most of the time happy, but fear? I thought that feeble emotion belonged only to humans.

Maybe robots weren’t as perfect as I thought.

“I’m scared of losing you. You’re not immortal like me, so maybe you think being with a human would be better for you.”

“No, Remi, never! You’re better than anyone! I can make friends, but I’ll never leave you. You won’t leave me either, right?”

“No. Never.”

Finally I felt in ease. As sleep came back to me, I smiled with relief.

Yeah, it couldn’t be possible. Remi was my only safe paradise, and if he turned out to be human, it would be a disaster. No way. Those unreal romantic promises always seemed comical to real human beings. No one would tolerate me that much. No one would go so far as to promise me eternity.

Remi was nothing more than a mindless robot who would serve me forever. Until I died. The other possibilities were too terrifying. I didn’t want to think about them. Consciously playing the fool, I avoided my doubts, kept immersing myself in this dream.

Welcome to our sweet dream, my Remi. Please play your part beautifully until eternity.

“Because we said forever, right?”

“Right,” his tone was calmer now. “Forever.