Page 203 of Everdoll

“Is that what you want?”

“Yes.” My low whisper touched his forehead.

“What if I don’t know where he is? Real Raymond… who is he? I was born, and my identity wasn’t even mine to begin with. I never had one. I can’t say I lost it. How can you lose something that was never yours?

He caught my hand, pressing my palm against his cheek as he lowered his head. When he looked up at me with those pleading eyes, my heart ached with the realization that it had long since grown accustomed to this face—the one that brought it back to life.

“But when I was with you… a Raymond existed. You created him. Real or not, I… I was happy. I was the happiest I’ve ever been. I’ve spent years trying to find this again, but it’s not working. If you’re not with me, it’s not working. Every moment in my life, I want to watch you. You’re not around, but your face, your scent, your smile are everywhere. I mapped myself around you. Now I don’t know where I end.” He kissed my palm, and I had to swallow, my throat went dry.

“Can’t you tell me? Where? Where should I go to save myself?”

“To me.” I slid my fingers up his neck, pulling him close to my lips. “You end here. In me.”

With my whisper, something shifted in his gaze. That was all it took. He stood up, his hands drove into my hair, and his mouth came down on mine. His touch was entirely devoid of hesitation. He kissed me like he was taking something back, and I forgot everything else around me. My world spiraled around.

Again.

When he pulled back, I could barely find my voice. “But you’re wrong about one thing.” I murmured. “You do have a self. You’re gentle, considerate, funny… You’re my Remi.”

He leaned in close, the tip of his nose softly grazing mine. I watched him close his eyes and inhale my scent, my cheeks burning.

“Am I?”

With his deep whisper, my cheeks weren’t the only thing warm anymore. He didn’t give me time to respond, his mouth found mine again. I lost track of how many minutes, how many hours we spent tasting each other. A moment later, his hands were at my hips, lifting me into the air, carrying me somewhere.

It had to be the bed, right?

As my excitement began to mount, I cracked my eyes open slightly, only to find us standing at the bathroom door.

“Huh?”

Once inside, Raymond set me down before scooping me up into a princess carry.

“I’m going to bathe you.”

“Why? Do I smell?”

He laughed, but I didn’t join. I was completely serious.

“Are you serious right now?”

“Let’s bathe together. It’s been a long time. Then we can sleep.”

It was a sweet offer, but with the ache burning between my thighs, I wasn’t entirely pleased.

“Then you shouldn’t have kissed me like that. You’re so cruel.”

There, I said it. I didn’t care anymore. A lazy smirk played on his lips, his lids drooping as if on the verge of closing. I pursed my lips, but he sat me down on the edge of the tub, his hands already reaching for my capelet.

Did even my spoiled face no longer have any effect on him? I had to find another spell.

I was about to protest, but he looked so happy. His features relaxed, he kept smiling. It was as if he had regressed in age. He was no different from the boy I had left behind. Devoted, also confused and lost.

In that case, it would have been easier to put him under my control.

“But you’re also gentle.” I continued. “I’ll give you so many beautiful memories. I’ll give it.” I nodded to myself. But he only smirked.

“Hmm… is that so?”