Page 141 of Everdoll

I created three embryonic clones in total. But the first bodies that forced to develop into near-adult forms within 168 hours, collapsed under the weight of biological instability.

I glared at the dismembered bodies in silence, a crooked grin appeared on my face. An eerily reminiscent of the one I wore after killing Sebastian.

I had no limits. No boundaries for anything.

After developing hyper-realistic robots modeled by Mina, I embedded adaptive intelligences into them. Algorithms designed to replicate her speech, her behavior, even her avoidant manner… When some of them began responding too realistically, too much like the Mina I once knew, I was frightened. I dismantled them and placed inactive shells in coffins.

I chose a safer path, creating holograms based on her personality. 3D projections drifted through the lab; singing, laughing, arguing. They filled the room with chaotic joy I adored.

Finally, my pitiful soul found solace.

Yes. This was what I truly wanted. Even if she was fake, I had… Mina. It was enough for me. I wouldn’t destroy her like in the other dimension; I respected her agency now.

I continued my experiments with clones and robots, this time trying to produce adult models directly. I grew accustomed to immersing myself in fantasies. Surrounded by temporary happiness, I remained calm in my shiny, iron utopia.

Only a pain I couldn’t shake kept tormenting me. One that nothing could replace.

My pure, first love.

I wish you were just a beautiful dream I could wake up from easily. The way I am for you. You can forget me and live a healthy life; I wish I could blot you from my mind. I wish I could forget you. But how can I? How can I save myself from you?

I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I’m sorry.

“Fuck, Raymond. You can’t be serious.”

When Johanna entered the room, I was sitting on one of the couches, my thirteenth clone had been successful. I pulled Mina, who had warmth and scent, into my lap. Johanna was watching me mouth agape.

“Don’t you always talk about the souls? What the hell is that?”

She grimaced at the countless Minas in the room, disgusted expression lacing her face.

“You can go to the garden too.” I murmured, smiling. “There’s one making tea there.”

She closed the distance between us and slapped me, but it was my soul that bore the wound.

Don’t bring me back to reality. Don’t make me live in a reality where Mina doesn’t belong to me.

“You crazy bastard! This girl left you because you put her on a fucking pedestal! You’re still doing it? This is your idea of ‘healing’? It would’ve been more honorable if you’d just moved on and fucked someone!”

“You can’t judge me.” I stroked the clone’s curly hair. Her body remained silent. Her personality hadn’t fully developed yet, but her physical body was already perfect.

Mina isn’t perfect; she just wanted a space where she could make mistakes. Like us. Didn’t you wonder what it feels like for someone to love you even after you’ve disappointed them? Don’t you think you’re sharing in the pain in Mina’s soul now? Why did you push her away from your soul?

The child Remi was speaking inside again, but I didn’t want to listen. I didn’t want to listen to Johanna either, but she kept talking.

“Judge you? Screw you Raymond, do whatever you want. I don’t fucking care. I just feel sorry for the girl. Think about what she’ll do when she sees all this.”

“She won’t. She won’t know or see any of this. This is my secret alone.”

“You’re too coward to face her anyway.”

I flinched. “I… don’t care about the real one anymore. I once loved her, and it’s over. Now I’m just silencing the voices in my head.”

“You’re silencing the shit.”

“Fuck off, Johanna.”

“You fuck off, really,” Johanna scoffed, then walked toward the door. “You never loved her, it seems.”