Page 105 of Fair Ball

Until she appears. Hair pulled back into a ponytail, a few loose strands framing her face. She wears a simple green dress and cardigan.

She is stunning.

And then her eyes meet mine, and everything falls into place. The world rights itself.

All those nerves from before vanish, only to be replaced by utter contentment.

Although she’s antsy, fingers knotted together, thumb rubbing her knuckle. I stand up to greet her, gently pulling her toward me with my hand around her elbow. “You nervous?”

She accepts the flowers and tips her head side to side. “A little, yeah.”

I take over, stroking her knuckle. “You don’t have to be. We’re only having lunch.”

She lifts her shoulder. “With only one of my favorite people in the world. No big deal.” And after a beat. “That’s not a joke.”

I give in to a grin. I probably look idiotic, like I have a hanger in my mouth, but I can’t help it. “Can I buy my favorite person a slice of mushroom pizza with a Diet Coke?”

She nods, pleased, and remembering her favorites is the very least of my tricks.

“Have a seat. I’ll be right back.”

I can’t help glancing over my shoulder at her as I wait for our order, admiring how she holds her chin in her hand, rocks slightly side to side, sometimes biting her finger. No one would notice how she self-regulates, but I do.

That’s what I’ve started talking about with the therapist, ways I can better support Millie, in the event that she does allow me back in her life. Clear communication and respect for her boundaries, recognizing when she’s in sensory overload and trying to anticipate what she might need.

So my goal for today is simply to be honest, lay out what I want, and then give her time to process it.

After bringing our food back to the table, I say, “Tell me more about your job.”

She doesn’t like straws or plastic tops on drinks, so I didn’t take either one for her soda, and she sips out of the cup before answering. “My boss is terrible and the work is boring, but it’s a paycheck.”

My first instinct is to tell her that she should quit. That I will take care of her, financially support whatever she wants to do…even be a lady of leisure—I don’t care. But I keep that all inside, following the plan.

I ask her about the nurse she hired, how Shannon is doing, and if Noah likes being back in school, and by the time she’s finished filling me in on her family, I know it’s my turn.

I push my plate to the side and lean my elbow on the table, holding Millie’s gaze. “I wanted to meet you in person so that I could explain myself. Look into your eyes when I say I’m glad you walked away from me. I hated every minute I was away from you, but I needed to work on myself. You were right about it all. I have to face my past and all of my insecurities so that I can move forward.”

She nods encouragingly, and I take a deep, cleansing breath. “I punched my brother last year, because hours before that game, I found out my girlfriend was leaving me for him. She was pregnant with his baby.”

“What?”

“Kira was there at the gala.”

Millie’s eyes widen, connecting the dots. “With the baby.”

“Yep.”

“That is…” She falls back against her chair as if winded. “I don’t like to call people names outside of my car, but they’re fucking monsters. The whole lot of them. How disrespectful and…downright hurtful. I’m so sorry, Austin.”

“I thought I loved her,” I say with a shrug, knowing the feelings I had for Kira were insignificant compared to what I feel for Millie, but I want to be honest about it. “I wanted to marry her. We knew each other in college, had a class together. I entered the draft when I was twenty-one, and we kept in touch. A couple years later, she came to see me at a game in the minors, and I guess you could say we started dating after that. We were long-distance so it was all over text and FaceTime, but she stuck it out with me all those years. She met my family, had come home with me multiple times, had been friends with my brother.”

“Friends,” Millie repeats with a sneer that almost makes me want to laugh at the way she’s offended on my behalf.

I nod and continue. “I bought a ring and everything, so when Kira came to me and told me she was pregnant, I was excited. Until she confessed it wasn’t mine.”

Millie grimaces, squeezing her eyes shut, and she already knows this part—everyone knows this part—but I tell her anyway. “My temper got the best of me. After being compared to Brett my entire life, it felt like he stole everything from me, even my future. And when they pulled me out of the game, I took it out on him.”

Millie sucks in a breath. “Well… He kinda deserved it. I’m against violence, but I wouldn’t mind taking a swing or two now that I know.”