Page 67 of Ashborne Phoenix

It made the return walk thirty minutes long, instead of ten, but it allowed us to approach the castle from a different direction, in the hope that if we were noticed, our appearance wouldn’t be associated with the stables, or the dragons.

I took Grace back to the deserted guest room where the cold, dirty bathwater remained, and the dress I’d torn off her slumped on the carpet like a wet animal.

I doubted they’d know we were back, but I’d have to make our presence known soon. So once we were inside and I was sure the room was clear, I sat in one of the thick chairs, and pulled Grace into my lap.

She came willingly, sitting sideways on me, her legs hanging over the chair arm, her head resting on my shoulder.

I held her more tightly than was necessary, but she didn’t seem to mind.

‘Did you feel that weight return when we stepped into this godforsaken building?’ I asked her.

‘Yes. I don’t like it. I know we need to do this, but I don’t like it. I don’t like you drawing attention to yourself.’

‘It’s our only hope for victory. If I don’t defeat her, we’ll be on the run our whole lives. I’m not letting these fuckers keep doing this. I refuse to continue to live in fear.’

She nodded against my shoulder. I took her hand and she twined our fingers. Then we both sighed.

‘I’ll send a messenger to her in a moment,’ I said reluctantly. ‘Things will escalate quickly. She’ll be angry that I eluded her. But it’s the rest of them I’m more concerned with—the whole Fold.’

‘Why? I thought she was the most powerful?’

‘She is—she’s the greatest single danger. But I couldn’t beat them if they descended on me in numbers. I have to keep them convinced my power is too dangerous for them to challenge.’

‘I’m sure you can do it.’

God, she was incredible. ‘Thank you. But… Grace, can you see that once I’m out in public, once I’m claiming the title, I have to appear to be what they expect?’

‘Which is?’

I sighed and sat up straighter. Grace straightened as well, still sitting on me, but no longer leaning, looking me in the eye, her expression worried.

‘I have to be one of them,’ I told her, swallowing hard. ‘I have to be ambitious, and arrogant, and… unconcerned about evil.’

Her brows pinched down. ‘I understand. Just as you are with your mother.’

‘In attitude, yes. But there’s more to it.’

‘Voski, you showed me what they’re like. I heard your story. I haven’t forgotten.’

Nausea churned in my stomach. I nodded. ‘That’s a good start. But that’s not far enough.’

Her eyes widened. ‘What will you have to do?’

‘I have to be a leader among them. The leader. They have to see me as a challenge to my mother’s power. And that means, I can’t flinch.’

‘You won’t. You’re so brave—’

Her belief was so humbling, I was flattened once more with how completely I didn’t deserve her. ‘Grace, hear me: I can’t flinch from what they do. I can’t flinch from what they’ll expect me to do. I have to appear to be as callous and self-serving as they are. And I have to demonstrate power they don’t have, to stop them from challenging me. I don’t want to hurt you—and I won’t. But I have to appear as if I will. No matter what occurs.’

She stared at me and to my surprise, instead of fearful, her eyes were sad. ‘They keep hurting you. Even when they haven’t touched you yet.’ She cupped my face, and the little tender gesture made my throat tight.

I took her hands and held them between us. ‘I want you to remember something when you begin to doubt—’

‘I’ll never doubt you, Voski. I know your heart.’ She took her hand out of my grasp and put it on my chest, and I swore. I wanted to weep with the pure goodness in her. My breath shuddered out of me at her touch, but my body gave a warm pulse, as if my heartbeat rose to her palm, so I left it there.

‘I won’t waver—no matter what, I’ll prioritize your safety over my own, even if it doesn’t look like that’s what I’m doing. You have to remember that. Trust me. So if I seem frightening… if what I do or say is frightening, remember this conversation. I won’t have changed. My goal remains the same: to keep you safe. To defeat these bastards. And to free all of us from them.’

But instead of looking afraid, or stern, she shook her head. ‘You need to focus on what you have to do to overcome her. And trust me to take care of myself. I have the knife now, and—’