Page 5 of Dragon AU

He gave the surrounding air a quick spray as if he could drive the very essence of dragon away from them and made a sloppy cross sign in the air with his other hand as he walked closer.

He proceeded to trip over Ethel’s basket of yarn and elbow Glenn in the ribs trying to stay upright.

“WATCH IT!” Conrad’s voice carried down the street, making several people turn to stare as if a man chained to a tree wasn’t enough of a spectacle without a screeching octogenarian.

“He’s a dragon, Clarence,” Milo said. “I don’t think divine intervention will get rid of him.”

“Well, nothing else seems to be working. Maybe if we all pray…”

He grabbed Glenn’s hand to start the prayer and Milo watched Glenn’s face light up with joy.

“Hello there!” he said to Clarence. “I would love to dance.”

He spun Clarence around, his steps precise and fluid like he had been a dancer his entire life when nobody really knew much about him other than the few bits they’d managed to piece together from a tiny stack of photos and a handful of letters signed by someone named Paul, no last name. Clarence had been a librarian. Danced in his spare time. And was apparently deeply loved. That was all they’d learned.

“The edge looks wonky, but it’ll be fine,” Ethel said as she finished off the last row and snipped the end of the yarn, wrapping Milo up in the now appropriately long blanket. He was feeling like a steamed bun under it but didn’t dare say anything. The woman was a vengeful hag wearing a cute grandma skin suit. Terrifying.

“Lovely,” Milo said. “Thank you.”

“Shelly, you saw the eyes, right?” Ethel asked the other woman.

Shelly nodded fiercely. “I saw them, all right. They have been following Milo’s every step for eons. Blinking at him from the dark. Waiting for him. Cold eyes. Invisible eyes.”

“I meant the dragon’s eyes,” Ethel said and Shelly screeched to a halt like a broken record.

“Um…he…sure had eyes…” Shelly pointed to her forehead. “Right here.”

“Oh, for fuck’s….” Ethel groaned. “The dragon was giving our Milo here some serious eyes.”

“Wait, what?” Milo asked. “What eyes? There were no eyes.”

“WHO HAS NO ICE?” Conrad asked.

“I once slipped on ice,” Glenn said, still dancing.

“We can pray for his soul to turn to ice,” Clarence suggested mid-spin/dip combination that had him near upside down, his rosary slipping into his mouth as he spoke.

“THERE IS NO ICE!” Ethel said. “I am saying the dragon looked at Milo like he found him attractive and that is something we can use to our advantage.”

Milo’s mind went blank. The rest of the senior squad stopped in their tracks.

“The fuck?” he asked, squirming a bit. It had not escaped his notice that Rowan was quite the specimen. And “quite the specimens” rarely glanced his way twice.

Ethel rolled her eyes. “You’re all morons. No wonder you’re single. The man was into you.”

“I was chained to a tree.”

She put her nose in the air. “I don’t kink shame.”

“I bit him!”

“Maybe he digs that.” Ethel shrugged. “Whatever the case may be, he was giving vibes and we are gonna use them.”

“How?” Shelly asked. “Nothing in my cards pointed to romance. And Milo’s heart line is just abysmal… No offense, dear.”

“None taken.” Milo scoffed. As if he had time for romance anyhow. What with working five jobs, taking care of five deranged senior citizens, and trying to keep them all from losing their only home. And even if he did have the time, he didn’t have the strength to put himself out there again after what his ex had done. Andrew had swooped in and made Milo fall within days, only to turn out to be the biggest liar in the world with a whole other life, another boyfriend, and goals that most certainly didn’t include Milo. So no…he’d take no offense to the mention of the very real tragedy that was his love life.

“Because it’s not romance,” Ethel said. “It’s deception. It’s manipulation. It’s the perfect grift to get us what we want.”