Page 5 of Blinding Lights

“Nope. He did that out of the kindness of his heart. That and the fact that he thought he could bribe his way out of coming this weekend. He was wrong.”

I laugh, though I can’t help feeling a little sorry for him.

Henley’s brother, Beckett, is one of the top quarterbacks in the NFL. He recently moved to San Francisco after playing with the Colorado Cougars for years, chasing his career goal of a Super Bowl win before he retires. At least, that’s what Henley told me.

Despite the two of them being close, I’ve only seen him a handful of times when he’s come by the shop to help Henley, and we’ve only really met in passing. He’s not a big talker. Henley tells me that he’s always been a serious guy, but after making it to the pros, something changed in him, and he became more secluded.

She’s forever teasing him about it when they’re talking on the phone, but when she hangs up, she’s always quick to tell me how worried she is—her main concern being that he’s going to wake up one day and realize that life passed him by. She’s afraid he’ll regret that while he was dedicated to his job and chasing the highs in his football career, he was missing out on the rest of life’s beauty. She’s a romantic like that. Me, on the other hand? I get it. I understand being laser focused on something, or someone in my case. For the last five years my daughter has come first, followed by The Bookish Aroma—the bookstore and coffee shop I own with Henley.

Henley often says that if we didn’t work together, she’d never see me, and I hate to say she’s probably right. I try to make time for my friends whenever I can, and I’m always just a phone call away, but I have priorities and I never waver from them, much like Beckett. Who I will forever be indebted to for the kindness of his heart. Or the bribe.

“I still can’t believe we get to fly first class,” I muse under my breath. Yet another reason I don’t have the appropriate attire for this weekend. I love my friends, I do, but they have so much more wealth and class than I do. I feel like a fraud even getting an invite to what will undoubtedly be a lavish event.

“You deserve this, babe,” Henley interrupts my thoughts. “This weekend is yours. It’s been too long since you let yourself focus on you. The flight is only a part of it. We’re getting you laid.”

I blow out a breath, but the hint of excitement swells inside me, mixed with a wave of nausea. I want to get laid. I’m over this drought I’m in. But…am I ready to put myself out there? That’s still to be decided. Not that Henley is going to let me shy away.

“Thanks for always being there for me, Hen. Even when I act like I don’t want it.”

Her soft laughter trickles through my wireless earbuds as my head drops back. “What can I say? I know you better than you know yourself. You should get to know you better. You’re a hell of a girl.”

“I promise I’m trying.” I wouldn’t say I lost myself after becoming a mother, because I truly believe that I was meant to be Ava’s mom, but I haven’t exactly been kind to myself either.

“It’s not about trying this weekend. It’s about action.”

“I know.” I lift my head, blowing out another breath.

“Do you?”

I frown, then quickly school my features when I catch myself in the mirror. I’m wearing a face mask; I’m not supposed to get too animated. God knows I need the damn thing to work. I want to look my best for Vegas. And this mask is supposed to rejuvenate my skin. Right now, no one would be blamed for thinking I just woke up after a three-day bender with no memory of what I did. The bags under my eyes could carry more weight than my luggage.

Henley’s voice filters into my head, and I internally curse myself for getting distracted. Again. “Sorry, what?”

“I asked if you wanted me to come over and help with your packing? I’m almost done with mine.”

“No, that’s okay. It’s late. I’ve got this. I’ll see you in the morning.” My eyes bounce between my closet and my almost empty suitcase, and I internally groan until Henley’s parting words hit me in the chest.

“You’re beautiful, Lil. No matter what you wear.”

“Thanks, Henley.”

“Anytime. Love you.”

“Love you too.”

I’m a nervous wreck when we pull up to my parents’ place to drop Ava off for the weekend, but of course, she runs right to them as soon as we arrive, excited for some new adventures.

“She’s going to be fine, Lily. I promise.” Mom smiles warmly as Henley squeezes my hand. “Feel free to call as little or as often as you like. Whatever will help put your mind at ease.”

“Thanks, Mom. I know she’ll be fine.”

It’s me that’s not. I need to shake the guilt I feel over leaving her for the weekend to live it up in Vegas.

“Ava tells me there’s a costume party and that you’re dressing up as a butterfly.” Mom smirks and I stiffen. Dammit, Ava.

“That’s right.” I smile, trying to appear nonchalant. “It’s Halloween after all.”

“Of course, but a butterfly?” Mom scrunches her nose, not at all subtle with her confusion.