Page 6 of Blinding Lights
“Olivia and I first bonded over butterflies. I thought it would be cute.”
“That is cute. But shouldn’t you be wearing something sexy, since you’ll be in Vegas?” Mom whispers the word sexy for my benefit and I instantly blush. “You never know who might be there. You never go out; this could be your chance to meet someone.”
“In Vegas?”
“Yes, in Vegas. Why not? Some of the guys there may even live close by if they’re Hunter’s friends or relatives. And if not, a weekend of fun won’t hurt you.” The heat in my cheeks burns, and I have no doubt the pinkish flush of my face is now more on the crimson side. Mom and I don’t talk about this stuff. Ever. Actually, it’s me. I’m the one that doesn’t talk about it. And I’m not about to start.
“I’ll keep it in mind.”
“You do that.” Her lips curl into a wide grin, and as hard as I try, I can’t stop myself from rolling my eyes.
“Don’t worry, Mrs. C.” Henley walks over from where she was comfortably raiding my parents' snack drawer, wrapping an arm around my shoulder. “I’ve got this. Our girl is going to have the time of her life. Trust me when I say, the costume is perfect. Do you think I’d let her wear something that wasn’t fit for Vegas?”
Mom laughs while I fake a smile. My mom and Henley have a much more open relationship than Mom and I do. But that’s Henley—she can talk to anyone about anything. It’s something I’ve always admired about her. If it wasn’t for her, I’d never open up. Well, her and her mom, Trudy. They have a way of making me feel comfortable in any situation. I suppose, when someone has seen you at your worst, like both Henley and Trudy have with me, it’s easier to share anything else you have going on.
When Ava’s dad left me, there were days I only ate for her sake, and days I could barely lift myself off the floor. Henley and her mom took turns taking care of me until I was finally able to see the light. The blessing that Ava really was.
Despite all that, I’m still not an oversharer, unless I have to be, and I definitely don’t share things with my mom. But I can’t deny that Henley’s right about the costume.
“It’s good for Vegas,” I admit. “Can we move on? Please.” Covering my face with my hands, I shake my head and wait for them to agree before I glance up again. “Thank you.”
“Does Travis know to call me while you’re away?”
Henley scoffs beside me but I ignore her and nod to Mom. “He does. He’s not thrilled that I didn’t ask him to look after Ava for the weekend, but he knows.”
Mom’s eyes flash to Henley as though she’s pulled some kind of face, but when I look her way, she’s smiling. “What?” She bats her lashes innocently.
No matter what he does, Henley will never forgive Travis for walking out on me, and for being an absent father for the first few years of Ava’s life. Despite the fact that we’re in a good place now.
For the past two years, he’s been a doting dad, calling every couple of days, seeing her monthly as promised, and she’s loved every second of it. I can’t fault him. My only concern is the minor fact that he’s been mentioning joint custody a lot more often lately. I trust him—I do—but I don’t want to disrupt Ava’s life like that. Flying to New York once a month is hard; flying there every other week would be a nightmare. But how do I say no when he has rights, when he’s been doing everything I’ve asked of him, and when Ava wants to see him more often? I can’t.
“Look what Grandad got me!” Ava comes running into the kitchen, her infectious happiness making me miss her before I’ve even left. She holds up a kid-sized shovel and rake while spinning around, showing off her cute little gardening outfit. Like me, she has a green thumb, and my parents’ garden is ten times bigger than ours. As is Travis’s Hamptons estate. She’s going to have an amazing time here, like she does when she’s there, and yet, I almost don’t want to leave her.
This feels different from when she spends time with her dad. I have work to distract me while she’s gone, and I know I couldn’t see her even if I was home. She’s in New York.
This weekend, I’m the one that’s leaving, and that’s an entirely new experience for us both.
“You’re going to have the best time, Ava,” I tell her, while also reminding myself, ensuring my forced smile is as real as it can be. “Please send me photos while I’m away.”
“Grandad said I can have my own garden. Forever. Like at Dad’s.” She bounces on her toes, clearly more comfortable with this arrangement than I am, and Henley shoots me a reassuring grin.
I can do this. Ava is going to be fine. No, she’s going to be better than fine. And so am I.
Like Henley said, this is my weekend to let loose. My only weekend to let loose. And I’m going to give it all I’ve got.
At least, I’m going to try.
Chapter Two
BECKETT
The turf springs perfectly under my foot as I pivot right and launch the ball to my teammate Easton. The ball hits its mark and I take a deep breath, letting the salty air fill my lungs before lining up in position again.
It may have taken longer than I expected to feel at home in San Francisco, but moving here last season was the best decision I’ve ever made.
I don’t want to completely shit on the team I left behind, the franchise that supported me from the start of my professional football career, or the coaches and players that have been a huge part of my life over the last ten years. But we never made the Super Bowl. We never even made the playoffs, and while I could handle that when we were a team that gelled…by the end, the Colorado Cougars supported a culture I didn’t want to be a part of.
No one cared. They focused more on theatrics, on being the team everyone talked about, from their over-the-top touchdown celebrations to a questionable mascot. We were loved, sure. But my focus has always been on the game, and nothing was going to change that. Something my teammates seemed to have lost sight of.
