Page 79 of Paging Dr. VanRyan

“No, it’s fine. I’m glad he’s well. We both moved on.” I laughed dryly. “Or at least I will once this is over. Only a few months left until I graduate.”

“I’ll be there!”

“I know.”

“I haven’t seen you in so long. I miss you.”

“I’m sorry.”

“Nope,” she replied cheerfully. “You did what you had to do. And it worked. You’re top of your class. In a few months, you’ll graduate and start working.”

“I’m looking forward to it. Having a semi-normal life—one that doesn’t include nonstop studying. I don’t think I’ll pick up a book for a while.”

Sue chuckled. “Unless it’s a romance?”

I laughed lightly. “Not even then.” I wasn’t sure I could stomach a romance book. I’d lived a real one for a while, and I didn’t think I could handle reading about it when it still hurt me to think of what I’d given up to finish my education.

There was a knock at my door, and I sighed. “My wake-up call is here, and I have to go work.”

“Okay, my girl. Talk next week.”

“For sure.”

I hung up, and Jill poked her head in. “We’re doing breakfast before hitting the books. You’re on egg duty. Everyone loves your scrambled.”

“Gimme five.”

“Sure. You okay?”

I smiled and nodded, pretending the ghost that haunted me quietly in the background wasn’t suddenly front and center. “All good. I’ll be down soon.”

“Okay.”

She shut the door, and I hung my head.

Matthew was seeing someone. Someone who wasn’t me.

I shouldn’t be surprised. He was an incredible man. The whole package. And after all these months, it shouldn’t hurt.

But it did.

I had thought I would get over him. That the love I felt for him would slowly dissipate and fade. But it hadn’t. It remained a slow and steady flame.

I wiped at the sudden tears in my eyes. I needed to extinguish the flame. Matthew had moved on. He was busy living his life. Volunteering, traveling, seeing someone.

I had to move on too.

But I wasn’t sure I could.

Graduation day dawned bright. Already too warm, but the humidity hadn’t begun yet. I stared at my reflection in the mirror, thinking what a difference a year made. I looked older. My face thinner. Aside from some quick trims, I hadn’t cut my hair, and it now hung well past my waist.

And I looked exhausted. We all did. Every one of us. But we had all graduated. Several of my roommates were staying on in Toronto and accepting the jobs they’d offered.

I was going home. I was tired. Homesick. I wanted the smaller city of Victoria around me, not the craziness of Toronto. I had carefully checked, and Matthew was no longer listed as working at the hospital, so I assumed he had chosen to do more volunteer work or moved. I was going home to take the mandatory testing to be able to work in BC, then I would find a job, hopefully in Victoria. If not, somewhere close. But I knew all hospitals were desperate for nurses, and I hoped to stay in Victoria.

I went downstairs, hearing Sue’s voice chatting with the girls. I walked into the dining room amid some laughter, and Sue smiled at me. “There she is!”

I hugged her. She had arrived last night, and we had talked for hours, catching up. She never mentioned Matthew, and I didn’t ask.