Page 84 of Fragile hearts

I’m a lovesick fool. That’s what the guys at work are calling me. I was never the one to keep my phone on me at work. I had always kept it in my locker. But ever since Alexis and I started dating, I carry it with me. I take it with me to the bathroom in case she texts me so I won’t miss it. I had kept it on me even when we were talking. I told myself it was in case my family needed me. But that was a lie. They knew I never had my phone on me, and if they had an emergency, they would call Killian. My heart starts beating faster every time my phone lights up with her name. As it does now, it’s a picture of her and Colton, flour covering their faces as they grin brightly—a batch of freshly made cookies behind them on the countertop.

Connor had something with work today. He didn’t specify what, but it was something he couldn’t cancel. So Alexis had offered to watch him. My phone pings and pings again, then I see she sent the picture in our family group chat. My mom had added her last week. She had smirked at me, proud that she had added her before I could.

The coopers

Mom: Aww look at you two, I hope you’re having fun!

Killian: Can I have some too?

Dad: Those look delicious.

Connor: Thank you so much for watching him, Alexis. I owe you one.

Carson: Have fun, Sweetheart.

From the corner of my eye, I see Killian shake his head, his phone also in his hand. He notices me watching. “Have fun, sweetheart,” he mimics, trying to copy my voice but failing miserably.

“Shut up.” There is no heat behind my voice. He hears it and laughs louder.

Killian has been a part of the group chat since he got his first phone. He’s technically not a Cooper, but my parents have always treated him like their son. Same last name or not, he’s always been family. As far as I know, they haven’t found out about Killian and Connor’s past. If they did, I haven’t heard them speak about it. I’m sure they would be okay with it, like me. They have never given me a reason to think otherwise.

I sit down on the couch, my phone still in hand, flicking through the photos in my gallery. There is a new one, I took it last night. She had fallen asleep in my arms, her face pressed against my bare chest, I’m kissing her head, staring at her like she hung the moon.

The guys are right. I am a love-sick fool. But I wouldn’t have it any other way. I had told Alexis the truth. I had feelings for her from the moment we met. It may have taken me a while to realize, but she’s been it for me this whole time. I liked being friends with her. I kept inviting her to go with me because I knew she was feeling lonely. She doesn’t have any biological family left. She talks to Micah, of course. But I wanted her to feel less lonely. To feel like she belonged here. So I kept inviting her to places, letting her meet my family in the hope that would help ease the pain of losing her brother. My family welcomed her with open arms.

My mother keeps texting her, and sometimes, when I’m at work, she sends me pictures of them working on their puzzles. A few days ago, my mom and Alexis went shopping together. Alexis came home carrying numerous bags. She had explained that it was all because of my mother. She had wanted to spoil Alexis and bought her things she never could have grown up with. My mom had even gotten some Mickey Mouse toys for Micah’s grave. When Alexis and Iaid in bed that night, she started crying, not out of sadness but out of joy. She never had a mother figure growing up, but now she has my mother.

A few hours later, when Alexis was snoring on my chest, I had texted my mother with shaking hands. Thanking her for taking care of my girlfriend. She answered a few seconds later with a simple always.

Alexis is exceptional at taking care of me. I already knew that before we got together, like the night I had a panic attack because of the thunder. And how she let me sleep on her couch, for my own health. But she’s also extraordinarily good at taking care of me sexually.

My dick jerks in my jeans as I think back to that night a few days ago, when she had sucked me off. I hadn’t intended for that to happen. I was fine with how things were going, but she surprised me. In the best way possible. I had never thought getting my dick sucked would feel so good. But I’m fairly certain it had to do with the fact that it was Alexis who was doing it. We haven’t gone further than that yet. But I don’t mind it. I’m ecstatic with everything we do. Even if we never have sex. I’ll still be the happiest man alive.

I’m so focused on the album that I don’t hear the people entering the firehouse until I see someone standing next to me. “Hi, Cars,” Alexis says, resting her hand on her hip, her lips curled into a smile. I blink, thinking I’m dreaming, then hear the familiar squealing of my nephew. They’re really here. I push myself up from the couch, smiling as I wrap my arms around her, my face burrowing in the crook of her neck, sighing deeply as I murmur. “Hi baby. I missed you.”

She chuckles, running her nails over my back, the way she knows I love.

“You saw me yesterday.”

I kiss her neck before pulling away. “That’s been way too long.”

She shakes her head, her smile widening. “You’re cute.” I open my mouth to answer when a pair of arms circle my legs.

“Hi, Uncle Cars!” Colton jumps up and down while holding on to my legs, grinning up at me. “Ms. Sunshine and me maked cookies.”

“Did you now?” I smile at his mispronunciation. His speech improves every time I talk to him, but for now I like his way of saying words. And what I like more is that he calls Alexis Ms. Sunshine. We have told him her name numerous times, but he’s certain her name is Sunshine.

“With chocolate. For you and Killie.” He releases my legs, running over to my best friend who’s standing near the dinner table, keeping an eye on the plate of cookies.

“He kept asking about Killie,” Alexis explains, coming to stand beside me as we watch Killian interact with my nephew. They’re both smiling. Killian looks happier than I have seen him in ages. “I asked Connor if it was okay that we came here,” she continues, grabbing my hand and leaning her head on my arm. “He said it was fine, that Colton would be excited to see you again.”

My nephew is always excited to see me. We have a good bond, but he’s more excited to see his Killie. I hate that things between Killian and Connor are so stiff.

I want both of them to be happy, but it’s also affecting Colton. He’s so young. He doesn’t understand that they’re not together anymore. He wants to see his Killie.

“I didn’t know they had such a good bond,” I say. I’m not jealous. I know I have no reason to be jealous, but still it hurts that I didn’t know they knew each other so well. But I also know it’s partly my own fault. I have been so distant the past year. That I didn’t realize what was happening right under my nose.

But Alexis has been helping me a lot with my mental health. Ever since I started sleeping over at her place, the nightmares have stopped. I don’t dream about Joey and Melissa’s death anymore, which is a huge relief, and telling everyone about how I was feeling has lifted a weight off my shoulders. I feel like the old me again, the me from before the accident. I’ll never be the same, but I’m healing so I can be the best version of myself.