Page 85 of Fragile hearts

“They do seem close together,” Alexis agrees. “I hope they’ll see each other more often.”

“I hope so too.”

Colton is running after Killian, who’s holding a cookie in his hand, threatening to eat it. My nephew is screaming and squealing in laughter.

“I hope they’re proud.” Connor has done everything in his power to raise that little boy with the love he has. It wasn’t easy, especially since he was grieving at the same time. But Colton is as happy as he can be.

“They would be very proud.” Alexis cups my face in her hand, tilting my head downwards so I’m meeting her gaze. “They would be proud of Connor for how he’s raising Colton.” She strokes my cheek with her thumb, her eyes shining with honesty and adoration.

“They would be very proud of the man you are today.” My eyes water, my throat dry, her words penetrating right through my heart. God, I needed to hear that. I’ve been living the past year with the thought that I should have done more, that maybe if we got there faster they would have been alive. I know nothing I could have done would have mattered, but when you’re grieving, the only thing you can think of is the what-could-haves. A lot of things go through your mind. How they would have celebrated their birthdays, would they still be living here, or would they have moved away. It’s weird to think of those things when you know it will never happen.

Alexis replaces her thumb with a soft kiss on my cheek, taking my hand again and leading me to the dinner table.

“Come on, before Killian eats all the cookies.”

Colton is sitting on Killian’s lap when we near the table, the plate of cookies already half empty. “Ms. Sunshine, look!” Colton speaks through his mouth full of chocolate, showing Alexis a picture he drew. The white paper is colored in with all different kinds of lines. You can’t make something of it, but it’s beautiful nonetheless. I have dozens of similar drawings stocked in a drawer in my house. They all look the same, but I won’t throw them away. I will store everything in boxes, so I can show them when he’s older. “That is beautiful, honey. You’re a real artist”

“Me, Daddy, and Killie,” he says proudly, raising the drawing in the sky. Killian’s face pales as the cookie in his hand falls onto the table. He averts his gaze. “Look, Killie, look!” Killian swallows hard, biting his lip. My heart hurts. I hate that my best friend is hurting, and I can’t do anything about it.

“It’s beautiful, bub. I love it.” Killian’s voice is hoarse. He’s holding in his tears, clutching Colton tightly to him as if it’s the last time he will see him. Alexis eyes me sadly from beside me. I clasp Colton’s shoulder, trying to lighten the mood. “Hey buddy, do you want to see the pole again?” Colton’s face lights up, almost falling from Killian’s lap with excitement. I grab my nephew’s hand, leading him towards the pole. Alexis trails behind.

“I wish we could do something,” she whispers, holding on to my arm, looking over her shoulder where Killian is staring into the nothingness as if he’s carrying the weight of the world. Fuck I really wish we could do something.

“Me too, baby, me too.”

Chapter Twenty-Eight

Alexis

Why is the sky blue? And why does that mean a puzzle has dozens of the same puzzle pieces in that color, but none seem to fit. I swear I have tried every blue piece and none of them work. Why can’t the sky be all kinds of different colors, that would make it a whole lot easier for me.

Just as I’m about to grab the last piece that I’m confident I haven’t tried with, the doorbell rings.

“Seriously?” I mutter to myself, it must be the delivery driver bringing me the gift I had gotten for Carson, well Ash had sent it to us and had let me know it would arrive today. I had asked Ash for the new jersey they have, since Carson is such a big fan and he told me about how much he liked the new colors.

I open the door my hands already reaching out to grab the package. But instead I’m met with the barrel of a gun inches away from my face.

Oh fuck.

My heart stutters in my chest, as I meet the man’s eyes. I could recognize him from a mile away, He looks different now. Like Kane his face is marred with wrinkles now and his hair is completely grey. But the hatred in his eyes are still the same.

But this isn’t Kane, this is the man of my nightmares. Mr Monroe. Or whatever the hell his name is. The man who murdered Micah, is standing om my porch with a gun in his hand.

“Get inside,” he orders in the voice that has been plaguing my nightmares for the past fifteen years. He waves the gun in my face. I step backwards raising my hands up in defense. He closes the door behind him locking it.

I glance around the room searching for something that can help me, my phone is laying on the couch, there is no way I can reach that without him noticing. My only hope is that someone noticed him waving the gun around and called the police, but there is a slim chance of that happening since it’s eleven o’clock on a weekday and as far as I know my neighbors are at work.

Mr Monroe is breathing heavily the gun shaking in his hand. “You should have died Alexis,” he mutters shaking his head repeatedly “Why didn’t you die!” He’s screaming now, his eyes bulge in his head, waving the gun in my face. I don’t answer him, not because I’m scared on the contrary, I’ve lived my whole life with people like him, this isn’t the first time someone pointed a gun to my face, and I’m not that innocent eight year old girl anymore who was petrified of him.

I keep my mouth shut because I know whatever I will say will piss him off either way. He’s angry at himself for not killing me, but I don’t understand why he is here now, it was all over the news that I survived, why did he show up fifteen years later? “You should have died.” He’s pacing on the living room floor, hitting himself on the forehead mumbling something under his breath. I try to control my breathing, thinking of a solution that can get me out of here. Alive.

“Stupid fucking Kane should have kept his mouth shut.”

Kane? It doesn’t surprise me that he’s working with Monroe, I always knew there was something wrong with that man.

“Do you know who I am?” he asks nearing me again, he cocks his head smirking. “Hmm?”

I quickly shake my head, my eyes wavering between the gun and his face.