Page 20 of Haunt Me

The Sutter house appears before I’m ready. It looks the same as it always has, and yet completely different. Warm light shines through the windows. Smoke billows from the chimney. The wind chime moves faintly near the door, sounding too delicate for the day.

My hand is on the door handle before the truck fully stops.

"One hour," he says.

I look at the house.

Through the front window, I can see people moving in the kitchen. Women from town. Club wives. Jenna near the stove with her hair pulled back and her face set in that purposeful expression people get when cooking is the only acceptable way to grieve in public. Mouse stands near the hall, arms crossed, staring at nothing.

On the porch rail sits a small spray of white flowers someone brought and didn’t know what to do with.

Raven would hate them.

The thought is quieter this time.

Less like a knife. More like a finger pressed to a bruise.

I get out of the truck.

The second I step onto the porch, conversations shift. They don’t come to a full stop. People are too practiced for that. But something in the air rearranges itself around me. Bodies angle. Eyes look toward me and then dart away. Someone says my name softly from inside, and for one stupid, impossible second, I hear her.

Samuel.

My foot catches on the top step.

Knox's hand closes around my elbow. "Easy."

I yank my arm free before I can stop myself.

His hand drops.

I don’t apologize. If I start apologizing, I’ll never stop.

Inside, the house smells like coffee, casseroles, cigarette smoke carried in from coats, and the faint cinnamon scent of something baking. The warmth hits me the same way the church did. Too much. Too close. Too many bodies trying to keep death from feeling alone.

People come toward me.

I hate them for it.

I love them too.

That’s the worst part.

Jenna reaches me first. She doesn’t say she’s sorry. Maybe she’s already said it too many times. Maybe she knows the words have started to feel like stones dropped into a well with no bottom. She just wraps her arms around me.

I stand there with my hands at my sides, but she holds on anyway.

"You need to eat," she says against my jacket.

"I'm not hungry."

"Didn't ask if you were."

For half a second, I almost smile, because Raven would’ve liked that answer.

The almost hurts.

Jenna pulls back, eyes wet but steady. "Kitchen. Sit."