Page 28 of Love at First Rep

“No. I wasn’t fucking okay. I watched my best friend die in an explosion. It took everything in me to get out of bed every day, but I didn’t have a choice. You know what that’s like. So I put everything into the job. I lost myself in the same fucking tasks day after day until I could finally go home and fall apart like I needed to. I was numb to everything else, but I did what I had to until I could get home or until I got killed, so no. I was not fucking okay.”

Garrett trembled, his hands still squeezing the steering wheel, his chest heaving.

Rafe was clueless. What could he possibly say? Nothing would make Garrett feel better about it or erase all that pain. Nothing could fix what happened twenty years ago. All he could do was be here for him now.

He gulped before he spoke, his eyes stinging from the tears threatening to fall.

“I’m so sorry, Garrett. I never wanted to leave you. It was the last thing I wanted. I swear, I’m gonna spend the rest of my life making it up to you.”

Garrett huffed and faced forward again, pulling away from the curb in the quiet neighborhood.

“I’ll believe that when I see it,” he muttered.

It wouldn’t be easy, but he hoped with time he could prove to Garrett he wasn’t going anywhere. Not ever again. Not without Garrett by his side.

“I’ll prove it to you. I’ve got nothing but time to prove it to you. I’m here for you, Garrett, and nothing is going to keep me away.”

Garrett glanced at Rafe a couple times, his gaze bouncing between the road and Rafe.

“I thought you were here because of the case.”

Shit.

“Well, yeah, I guess that’s part of it, but at this point I’d take any excuse to see you and make up for the years we’ve lost.”

Garrett narrowed his eyes.

“Sounds… convenient.”

Rafe’s fingers tapped his leg as he tried to come up with a way to redirect the conversation.

He was usually amazing at this, but something about Garrett tore down all his defenses.

Rafe huffed. “There’s nothing convenient about drug smugglers and terrorists.”

Garrett only hummed in response, his eyes focused on the road. They entered Garrett’s neighborhood and were almost home. At least, Rafe hoped it could be his home one day.

“How come you left the service?” Rafe asked as Garrett pulled into his driveway.

After shifting the car into park, Garrett turned to him.

“Like you, I didn’t have a choice,” he said, sadness emanating from his eyes. “I was less than honorably discharged after someone snooped on my phone and found some less than heterosexual media.”

“Fuck. That’s bullshit,” Rafe said, anger burning in his gut. “Who was it? Where do they live? Where are their weak spots?”

Garrett huffed. “They’re not worth it. I’m not even sure who it was.” He sighed. “I have to go to work today, but I’ll give you a spare key so you can come and go as you please. Don’t do anything stupid before I get back.”

Rafe smiled. “You know I like to save all the stupid for when I’m with you.”

Garrett’s lip twitched like he was trying to tamp down a smile. Rafe had been here for days and he’d yet to see Garrett’s bright grin light up his face. Fuck the drug case. Rafe’s main mission was to make Garrett smile. He’d do it or die trying.

11

GARRETT WAS DISTRACTED AS he walked toward the Cherrywood municipal building, their town’s version of a precinct.

Usually, he was more strong-willed, but he couldn’t help his mind wandering when it came to Rafe’s sudden presence in his life.

Garrett would have to shake off the thoughts of him while at work, since the whole reason he showed up was to find a mole in his department. Something about this case niggled at Garrett’s brain. He missed something and he worried Rafe was the one hiding it. Deep down, he knew he could trust Rafe, but something felt off about this whole thing.