Page 27 of Love at First Rep

Rafe could tell Garrett was pissed, but he also felt like he missed something. Was it the military industrial complex or something more personal? He’d have to wait until later to find out. Now wasn’t the time.

“Yeah, that part sucked,” Rafe said, taking the attention away from Garrett. “Narcs were everywhere, so we avoided talking about it.”

Tension hung thick in the air, but Riley changed the subject. Not to one of Rafe’s favorite topics though.

“Did you guys have to fight a lot?” Riley asked quietly, as if he felt bad for asking.

A weight settled on Rafe’s chest. He sent a wary glance Garrett’s way, but Garrett was still eyeing his coffee, so Rafe turned back to Riley.

“Sometimes,” Rafe said. “There was a period where it felt like we were in combat every day, being badasses for the United States, and then there would be periods of quiet. Part of our job was to train the Iraqi police so they’d be able to handle the security themselves once we left.”

“It’s wild what you guys went through,” Chase said. “I don’t think I’d ever be able to do it.”

“I know I couldn’t,” Josh said. “You guys are heroes.”

Rafe’s eyes fell to the half-finished meal in front of him, his mind returning to his tours.

“It didn’t feel like it at the time,” Rafe said. “We were just trying to survive.”

The table quieted as they absorbed Rafe’s words.

“It was much easier with each other,” Garrett said, and Rafe’s eyes snapped to him. Garrett shot him a sympathetic smile, and Rafe took it like a knife to the gut, though it felt worse than the time he actually took a knife to the gut.

What was it like for Garrett after he’d left?

They hadn’t talked about it, but the conversation had to come sometime.

The two of them had relied on each other so much, and he’d left Garrett to fend for himself. He may not have had a choice, but he couldn’t forgive himself for it anyway.

He’d never get that time with Garrett back. All they could do was move forward, and Rafe prayed they could do it together. One thing was certain. He wouldn’t ever stop trying to make things right with Garrett.

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On the way home from the diner, with Garrett in the driver’s seat, Rafe tried to broach the topic he couldn’t stop thinking about.

“What was it like for you after I left?”

Garrett kept his eyes on the windshield. The only sign he heard Rafe was the pulse in his jaw.

Rafe needed to know, so he let the silence linger until Garrett felt ready to answer.

Cherrywood wasn’t a huge town, so it wouldn’t take long for them to reach Garrett’s place, which would likely cut off this conversation.

An entire minute dragged by before Garrett finally spoke.

“It was more of the same. The same stuff we went through while you were there. No difference.”

Rafe’s eyes narrowed.

“No difference? Really?”

Garrett’s knuckles were white where he gripped the steering wheel.

“I did the same things. I just did them alone. What else is there to say?”

“Well, yeah, but… were you okay?”

Garrett swerved to the side of the road, slamming on his brakes and facing Rafe with manic eyes.