Page 80 of Smile for the Camera

My mom is about to finish work, giving me reason to say, “I should get home now. It was lovely meeting you both! Mrs. Rivers, your sandwiches were delicious. Jordan, you’re so multitalented. Can’t wait for you to become the World’s Greatest Sculptor!”

“Thank you!” Mrs. Rivers says. “Lovely meeting you too, Emilyn!”

“Thanks!” Jordan says. “Maybe you’ll be the World’s Greatest Photographer, and then we’ll see each other in New York!”

“Maybe we will!” I almost want to tell Jordan that I might get stuck pursuing bio, that I might not be a photographer. But the words stay lodged in my throat.

“I’ll walk you back,” Jase tells me. He hands the soccer ball to Jordan, rumpling his hand in his little brother’s hair.

The grass crunches beneath our feet as we cross back to my car.

“Your brother is a boy of many talents,” I say.

“He’s an impressive little dude,” Jase says, grinning.

“He really cares about you.”

“I really care about him. He’s my best buddy.”

Jase glances back at his mom and brother as they head back to their car. He runs his fingers through his hair. “That whole thing with my mom, sorry you had to see that.”

“Don’t worry about it.”

“I wish she’d stop bringing up college and just let me do music.”

“She loves you, that’s all.”

Jase furrows his eyebrows. “I don’t know. She keeps making me do these things I don’t want to do.”

“She just wants you to have a better life than she did. My parents are the same way. I may not know what it’s like having a single parent, but I know what it’s like having two that care.”

He thinks this over, then glances back at his mom, who’s now stepping into the driver’s seat with Jordan in the back. “Maybe.”

“It was nice meeting your mom and little brother.”

Jase nods and grins. “They like you a lot.”

“I like them a lot. Hope I get to see them again soon.”

For a moment, he looks at me, and I want to, so badly, know what he’s thinking. “You probably will.”

Before I can ask him what he means, he waves goodbye and heads back to his mom’s Lexus.

On the drive home, passing by a stretch of dirt with oil machines in movement, I think about what Jordan said.

Are you scared she’s going to say no? Because I don’t think she will.

What Jordan meant, I have no clue, but whatever it is, that unfamiliar feeling that’s been surfacing whenever I’m around Jase has grown stronger.

Chapter Twenty-Nine

For the nth time, I examine my photo of Jase and his family, still unable to pinpoint why I’m not satisfied with the final product. It perfectly captures what love means to me, so why am I still editing two hours later?

I crop and resize the photo.

That’s not it.

I adjust the colors and tones.