Page 24 of Everything After

“I know. She said she was doing the ‘fuck me butt wiggle,’ but didn’t understand,” Bella says. “Listen. She basically said she doesn’t like sex because it hurts, and Anthony said it was her responsibility. He has her convinced women can’t come and is afraid you want to hurt her now.”

“Oh, that poor girl,” Ace says quietly. Hearing this puts it all into perspective on how innocent she really is and how cruel Anthony was to her.

“I told her to talk to you about it tonight. She is extremely embarrassed to know that that feeling was her being turned on. She really needs to understand it’s normal and you won’t hurt her. If she goes too long thinking that…”

“She’ll run again,” Mason says when no one else does.

“Don’t push her,” Bella says. “This isn’t how I wanted to say this, but I quit school because I was being raped by my psychology professor. She described it like being stabbed by fire, Bex. That feeling is fucking suffocating, and she can’t live in that headspace for long. She said when you were touching her thigh, she first felt it while she was reading that smut book I suggested. Do that again. Create that feeling again, but let her know you see it.”

“And if she panics?” I ask, raising an eyebrow.

“Show her restraint,” Ace says. “Don’t hide it if you are hard.”

“I am so uncomfortable right now,” Mason says. “But he’s right. She’s embarrassed about being turned on, so show her you feel that, too, but ignore it. Pretend you aren’t hard and show her that being turned on isn’t bad, and it doesn’t lead to you raping her.”

I had no idea she was turned on, but I knew she was triggered. It’s why I gave her space today. All of this is heartbreaking, but I want to help.

“If she still panics, call me,” Bella says. “Honestly, Mason, too.”

“I am not showing her my dick, you freak,” Mason says.

“Freak,” Bella laughs. “I mean, if she hears from you, too, that she is safe, that means a lot to her.”

“At what point do we include that he is going to hollow her out?” Ace asks.

“Ew,” Bella says. “But seriously, the girl didn’t even know women get wet.”

“Jeez,” Mason sighs.

“Going back,” Bella says.

“You two should be more physical around her,” Ace suggests. “She needs to see proof of attraction without fear.”

“He’s right,” I say. “Come over for dinner and just be your normal creepy selves.”

“I’m totally fucking him on your couch,” Bella says to me with a grin.

“Please don’t,” I laugh. “I meant sit on his lap or something. Act like a couple and stop hiding it.”

“He’s afraid someone will think he robbed a cradle,” Ace laughs.

“He kinda did,” Bella says with a shrug before kissing Mason. “Bye.”

When Bella goes back into the office, I rub my hands down my face. “I knew she was innocent, but…” Mason starts to say. “This is different.”

“No,” I say. “She is still Sierra. There are just things she is going to be confused about. It’s no secret that I am attracted to her. I am a patient man. I have no problem going as slow as she wants.”

“But like… how difficult is it?” Ace asks.

“My shower fantasies are alive and well, dude,” I say, making Ace cackle.

Every morning I wake with her pressed against me, so I set my alarm to make sure I wake before her and take a shower. I tried to fight it for a long time, but I realized fast that my dick wasn’t going to chill out. So, now I take care of things in the shower so I don’t freak her out. Last night she kept rubbing against my cock, and I couldn’t stop it from happening. She is so effortlessly stunning, and I just want to make her feel good. I want her so drunk on pleasure that all she can do is moan my name.

By the end of the day, I still can’t get it off my mind that she was scared of her own arousal. When we go up front, I have to test the theory. “Hey, Kitten,” I say, kneading her shoulders as I watch her close out the day. Bella and Mason are watching while Ace makes obscene gestures at me.

I am making sure not to do anything new. I stand here and do this nearly every day, but she’s tense today. Instead of pulling away, I keep going. She starts to struggle to type before stopping altogether.

“You okay?” I ask, leaning down to place my hands on the desk.