Page 91 of Everything She Wanted

I deserve it. In fact, I deserve much worse. I let the hurt, the pain, and the guilt ravage me, wanting to punish every inch of myself for being so damn stupid.

31. Never Enough

We look forward to working with you.”

That’s it. We did it. The elation of this win breaks through my bubble of anguish. After everything we’ve been through for this account, it’s finally working out.

I try not to seem too eager as we get up.

Charles, a top gun angel investor, is going to give us even more than we asked for. He reaches out to shake my hand, and he holds it and my gaze for longer than appropriate with a sly grin playing on his lips. “You’re one to watch, Nisha.” He looks me up and down slowly like he’s perusing the dessert menu of a Michelin-starred restaurant.

I hold his gaze confidently. “Thank you.”

He must be at least twenty years my senior, but he’s handsome, clean-cut, fit, and entitled, like most white men who’ve accumulated his level of wealth. Discomfort starts to mount, but I don’t pull my hand away. He’s offering up millions—I can pay this little price. Women do this every day with every unwanted glance and touch they have no choice but to endure.

Nick comes to my rescue. “We’ll send over the contracts later today.” He holds out his hand.

“All business, this one.” Charles laughs and finally lets go of my hand, giving Nick a brief but firm handshake.

With that, we file out of the room and say our goodbyes. I practically skip to the elevator, and as the doors close, Nick hits me with his thousand-watt smile.

“You were incredible in there.”

“Thanks,” I say curtly.

I barely slept and woke up with a pounding headache. My eyes were puffy from crying, so I drenched a towel in cold water and placed it over my eyes for fifteen minutes before meticulously applying my makeup, hiding my shame under layers of concealer.

I tamped down all the guilt, rage, and frustration and donned the mask I started wearing as soon as I moved here, becoming Fantasy Nisha—the empowered woman with no fucks to give, who can make it in a man’s world.

I will fall apart later, but for now, I have my armour and I’m not letting anyone get through again. Not even Nick.

We step out of the elevator and Nick points to a seat in the lobby. “I’ll email Amy to send the contracts over. Why don’t you tell Tom we got the deal?”

Of course, he wants me to get the spotlight by telling me to email the boss with the good news. Before, I would have thought that was sweet, and now I see it for what it is: Just another gimmick to help weaken my defences.

“Okay, I’ll do that.”

We sit down and type quietly on our phones. I finish up just as Nick does.

“Ready?” he asks, standing up.

“For the drive back? Not really,” I respond without thinking. I love being in new places, and I hate going on any trip, even a work one, without checking out some of the local vibe.

“Let’s go out and celebrate then.”

Is he fucking kidding me? I did want to see some of the city, but not with him. Not now. I spent all night mentally berating myself for letting my guard down repeatedly over these last few months. He’s not into me in any meaningful way. A hot rush of shame fills me again. Of course he isn’t. I’m nothing special. If it wasn’t for Eshaan, I’d be completely alone like I was before.

I push off the seat and start heading out the door as he follows behind.

“We should get back,” I reply, my heart heavy.

“They’re not even expecting us back until late this afternoon,” he counters. He shoots me a look that normally would have me eating out of his hand, but now all I want is to get away from him. He’s just another man that I can add to my long list of mistakes.

“What’s wrong?”

“Nothing.”

He doesn’t push, but a part of me wants him to.