Page 90 of Everything She Wanted

“With my tongue.”

Then he’s licking a path from my mouth, down my chin, and in between my breasts.

“With both.”

He pulls my tank top down entirely, taking my nipple into his mouth, teasing and sucking while dragging his other hand down my stomach. My breath hitches, and I dig my nails into his back. He starts to tug down my shorts.

“Wait,” escapes my lips, some sort of sense slowly coming back to me.

“This doesn’t have to count,” he adds. His breathing is shallow and rapid.

Count against what? My hazy brain tries to comprehend. His one-night rule? Me cheating? The thought has me inwardly cringing, even as my body sizzles with his touch. My pulse skyrockets as he peers up at me from between my legs.

He knows he has me on the cusp and doesn’t waste the chance. “It doesn’t have to be anything more than this,” he confirms, trying to entice me.

Instead, I stiffen at his words. I know for him, this is nothing, a bit of fun, but for me, it could be catastrophic.

A drunken kiss, the sauna, the club, his hotel room, and even what happened in the office earlier today were all bad enough, but this is crossing a line I’m not sure I would ever be okay with. How could I ever look Eshaan in the eyes again?

If we continue, there is no coming back from this.

You’re so desperate for attention. It’s sad, really. Eshaan’s words float back to me right on cue, making me instantly ashamed.

What am I doing? Nick isn’t making me any promises. He’s honest about what this is, and here I am, still letting him put his hands all over me.

I get up and shove him away, my body protesting the movement. He quickly moves back and stands up. I avert my eyes, so he doesn’t see them glazed over—desperate desire mixed with shame. I pull up my tank top.

“I can’t do this,” I say breathily.

He doesn’t say anything. Instead, he bends over to cover me up with my robe.

Finally, he says, “I get it.”

The breeze blows my hair in front of my face, and he tucks it behind my ear. His hand lingers there. He looks at me like he wants to say more, but he doesn’t utter another word.

I want to ask him what this means. What I mean to him, but he doesn’t give me the chance. Instead, he strides back inside without even a glance back, adding confusion and hurt to the equation.

Regret mixes with the tears streaming down my face. I’m nothing to him, and here I am, so willing, so ready to give up everything.

I stifle a sob and somehow manage to make it back to my room, where I close the door and drop in a heap on my bed. I wrap my arms tightly around myself and cry.

Eshaan’s voice resounds in my head.

It’s so lame that you feel like you need to dress like that to get attention.

No one would even notice you if you weren’t with me.

You’re dropping everything for this job, but let’s face it, it’s getting you nowhere. You wouldn’t even be able to pay rent if Rachel wasn’t giving you a steep discount.

And then my mom’s too.

Why can’t you be more like your sister? She doesn’t bring shame to our family.

Who’s going to put up with someone like you?

Your dad would be so disappointed in you. His little girl, doing things like this?

I let myself drown in their disapproval and judgment.