Page 116 of Everything She Wanted

“Rach, I’m so sorry. You’ve done so much for me, and I never should have said what I did.”

“Yeah, you shouldn’t have. That wasn’t cool, Nish.”

“I know and I’m so sorry. It’s just that without you, I don’t know if I can do this, any of it, and I know I might have screwed everything up between us—” My voice breaks.

She holds her arms out and I fall against her.

“Nish, stop. I’m not going to abandon you on your special day. Whatever you decide, I’m in it with you, now and forever.”

Relief washes over me at her words. “I love you.”

“I love you, too.” She takes me by the arm, and I relax. Somehow, everything will be okay.

42. Happily Ever After

I stare at myself in the floor-length mirror in the bathroom of the event hall, and I almost can’t believe it’s me. Rachel expertly applied my makeup to create a flawless look with shimmering gold eyeshadow, winged tip eyeliner, perfectly filled-in brows, a light bronzer to accent my cheekbones and finally a dusty rose lipstick on my full lips. My hair is pulled to the side in long, smooth, cascading waves, while my neck is adorned with my mom’s gold necklace from her wedding, with matching dangling earrings.

My arms have shimmering gold bangles, and I have a bindi and tikka placed on my forehead to complete the look. It’s the lehenga that gets me most. It’s light pink with delicate gold embroidery that shines like a sunset. The top is short and fitted, revealing a bit of my midriff, with a scooping neckline on both the front and back, where the flowers resemble peonies. It’s a two-piece with a matching flowy floor-length skirt. All of it Eshaan had custom-made for me in India, and I feel like a fucking princess. I’m finally getting my Bollywood happy ending after all.

I can’t help feeling, though, that at any moment, something catastrophic will happen, that will ruin all of this. Ruin me. Like when I was with Raj all those years ago. He said and did everything right, but something always felt a little off. I ignored my intuition and regretted it. Is that what I’m doing now? Bypassing my body’s signals and wisdom? Or am I just afraid because of what happened before? Time is rapidly running out to make sense of things, and I have to hope this is the right move. Eshaan isn’t Raj—he’s committing to me in the most meaningful way. I don’t know why that doesn’t give me more comfort.

Rachel is wiping her eyes behind me. “Oh, Nisha, you look so stunning. I just can’t.”

“Oh my gosh, stop crying. You’re going to make me cry.” I turn to her.

“Your dad would be proud of you.”

I lose it, and tears fall down my face. “You think so?”

“I know so.”

We hold each other and I bask in the warmth of this special moment.

“Okay, now let’s fix your makeup. Guests are already starting to arrive.”

She pulls out her makeup case, which she brought along for moments like this, and expertly touches me up. I take one final look in the mirror before we head to the waiting area. My heart vibrates with an undercurrent of anxiety even though there’s nothing to worry about, not anymore.

We’re walking down the corridor when her phone starts beeping with texts.

“Rach, who’s blowing up your phone?”

“Shoot, just give me one sec. I told my clients I was off duty for tonight.”

Her eyes widen, and she brings her palm to her mouth as we both come to a stop.

“What is it? You’re stressing me out...you know how anxious I get.”

“Nisha, why don’t we get some fresh air? It’s going to be a while until everyone is settled.”

She leads me by the hand in the opposite direction, down a corridor I’ve never been down before, one that looks like it’s just for staff. She stops at a fork and then checks her phone again as if she’s looking for directions.

“Rachel, where are we going, seriously? I don’t think we should be in here.” I’m already a little jittery, and this detour is not helping.

“Trust me.” She leads me to the end of the hall and out to a side exit. Rachel pushes the bar and the door swings open. A wave of ease washes over me with the fresh evening air. “Okay, this is nice actually.” I sigh.

“Nish, don’t be mad.” She says as she holds the door for me.

“Why would I be mad? This is exactly what I need—”