Page 125 of Changing Lanes

But didn’t I see something in the distance like a factory or a barn or something when I crested that sandy knoll?

“Was it?”

He’s still on about this? The accident was just that, an accident. A stupid err of judgment. I shouldn’t have been flying over unfamiliar terrain without at least a vague rundown of the area. Sailing up unknown inclines without knowing what was on the other side was dumb as fuck but it happens.

It happened.

I didn’t go looking for a place to wipe out but I wasn’t not looking either. I was taking things a few seconds at a time. Four seconds, actually.

Shit.

I shut my eyes, rubbing a hand over them and finding it strangely heavy, then replay everything from back at the apartment in my mind. The sex, the confessions, the subsequent fight.

That’s what Paige had said to me—four seconds—and that’s what was running through my head the entire time I was riding. I wasn’t thinking about where I was going because I was worried about where I’d just been. With Paige.

And then without.

Because of my bullshit hang-ups.

Maybe my dad’s right. Maybe it was about her after all. Maybe it was always about her. Maybe she still has a hold over me despite her letting go years ago.

But it was different this time. I didn’t do it hoping she’d come back.

Maybe I did it hoping the one last time of her not showing up would be what sets me free for good. The final nail in the coffin to her plaguing presence.

A distraught female voice down the hall slices through the strained silence of my small room like a guillotine and my eyes fly open. Swinging them over to Dad, his entire body stiffens. Dude’s gripping the chair’s armrest so hard I wouldn’t be surprised if it buckled from the pressure. Even though he’s a lawyer, he still works out daily to keep his shit tight. I know he never had any issue finding dates after my mom took off but he never brought them around and I think the irony in that speaks for itself.

I wasn’t the only one holding out for her.

As we hear my name said in a panicked tone, we both make a move but my dad pushes me back down. I stay frozen, not knowing the extent of my injury, but really, if she came to see me, if she loves me, she won’t let him or anything else get in her way. I’ve seen news articles about moms lifting cars to get to their kids.

“Excuse me, ma’am, are you family?” a nurse, I assume, asks as I strain to hear how she’ll answer.

Family doesn’t desert each other. They don’t fall off the face of the planet without a word for years. They stick it out. They give each other the benefit of the doubt, however many times it’s needed. Like I should’ve with Paige, damn it, instead of accusing her without listening like she deserved. I treated her with the one thing I’ve spent my life trying to shake—indifference.

Fuck. I need to call her after this.

With my dad’s back to me, I study his brawny frame as he takes a huge breath, readying himself to face whoever’s on the other side of the privacy curtain.

At the same time I hear a confident “yes” in answer, a voice that sounds a lot like my girl’s best friend speaks up, saying, “I called her. Let her in.”

Didn’t I hear that already? Was that Cynthia in here before? Then who else was with her? And who’s outside?

My dad cautiously peels back the curtain to reveal a very different face than the one we were expecting as Paige comes barreling through the thick fabric, pushing my dad out of the way in her haste to get in. To get to me.

Our eyes collide and hold.

One.

A single tear brimming her eye falls, making my heart pinch.

Two.

Strong legs I know like the back of my hand bring her closer but not close enough.

Three.

“I love you,” the sentiment spilling from her mouth as serious as the expression on her face. Simple words to some, powerful words to others, everything to me.