Page 29 of Red Waters

“Seafoam.”

My biological mother. “Isn’t it right that she fought for me?”

Hesitantly, Yury rose from my lap to stare at me. I wanted to know what was racing through his mind, but he refused to talk.

“Talk to me.”

“I want to understand her loyalty to you.”

I cringed. “That question makes no sense to me.”

“The mother who raised you knew you, yet she has let you go without a second thought. I understand that. It’s what I know. So, why did Seafoam care for you before she ever even met you?” He gazed to my lap. “Which she never did.”

Warmth rushed through my achy heart.

He pointed to me. “That. How does that please you when you never knew her either? What is this blind affection?”

“Blind?”

His agitation grew. “How is there a bond with no bond?”

“Love can’t always be seen.”

He growled. “I don’t know love. Your words are not helping me understand.”

Trying to explain an intangible emotion was harder than I thought. I decided to give an example instead. “If someone were to burst through your bedroom door and shoot you, I would be sad.”

His eyes flared. “That is only because I have tricked you, as I was trained to.”

“Maybe, but I would still hurt.” I touched my chest again. “Right here.” His hand laid on top of mine as if mystified by the possibility. “If I can feel that for you after all you have done to me,” he pulled his hand from mine, “I can only imagine how I would feel about a child of my very own. Maybe that is what my mother felt for me.” I reached for the retracted hand. He let me. “In the bathroom, you said you saw me be born.”

“You were pulled from her dead body.”

Tears began to flow again. “So, you saw her die?”

After a pause, his voice deepened. “I watched her be murdered.”

I almost choked. “By who?”

Slowly, he shook his head.

I rushed forward, grabbing his shoulders. “Please! What happened? Why was she murdered?”

“Many reasons, but I think the main one was for becoming desirable.”

My face scrunched to the idiocy until I felt his hands pull on my hips. Watching Pretend Whit exit his bathroom, it all started making sense. “Someone started caring for my mother.”

Yury didn’t answer me directly but said, “I have been taught this is the time to have one soiled.”

“S-Soiled?”

I could feel a chill from the coldness that took him over right before my eyes. “By another.” Yury rose to his feet. “Seafoam fought for you. You fight for him.” Annoyed, he gestured to the laptop.

“I love him.”

“You said you care for me, too.”

“Y-Yes, but he has been there for me my whole life.”