Page 28 of Red Waters

Amusement and Ammunition

“What are you feeling?” asked my captor as he turned my chair and squatted between my thighs.

When I only stared at his laptop, he shut it.

Wiping tears, I explained, “I don’t want you to punish me for saying.”

He touched my knees. “I will stay calm. Tell me.”

I grabbed my chest. “I am missing him holding me.”

“What does it feel like when he holds you?”

I covered my mouth. “Hasn’t anyone ever held you before, Master?”

His eyes slammed shut. “Don’t call me that.”

Gently, I touched his face. “Has anyone ever held you in their arms… Yury?”

His eyes opened. He moved to rest on his knees while biting his inner cheek. “I don’t know.”

I thought of my first experience in the training room, when I asked him to hold me, and how it took him so long to properly react. I actually experienced sorrow when I realized I had not offered comfort in return. At that moment, I had only been a taker. “What about your mama?”

His nostrils flared. “What about yours?”

I hissed as I recoiled in my chair. “Why are you being cruel?”

“It’s who I am.”

Exhaling, I stared at his bed. “At times, yes.”

“Other times?” Yury rested his arms on my thighs.

“Other times, I see… pain in your eyes.”

“Why do you sound as if that is good?”

“Because, if you can feel pain, you can feel love.”

He shook his head as he sneered, “Don’t romanticize me. You will lose.”

“I just watched you rape someone. Romance is far from my mind.”

I was very surprised when he leaned his forehead to my stomach. “That wasn’t rape.”

“Maybe not in your world, but that treatment would kill me.”

His body became heavier in my lap.

My head leaned back as I understood… “You already know this.”

No reply.

“Yury, what am I doing here?”

He spoke into my belly. “She fought for you, on her death bed.”

My heart started to pound heavily. “Who?”