Page 51 of Paradigm

“Well, not nothing. We talked, but it’s not like we kissed or that she invited me inside for something more.”

“No one thought that would happen,” Sarai replied.

“Then, why am I at this lunch?”

“Arlowe, we didn’t expect you to share any juicy details. And you wouldn’t do that, anyway; not with Eline.”

“No, I wouldn’t.”

“We just wanted to know how it went, how you two left it, and how you are; that’s all.”

“That’s all?” she asked.

“She’s back, Arlowe. The woman you thought was the love of your life is back, and you two are hanging out again. Yeah, that’s all,” Sarai said. “We all just wanted to know if you’re okay.”

“I think I am,” she replied.

“You think?” Gabi asked.

“I mean, she’s back. If I called her right now and asked her to hang out, I could see her tonight. It’s pretty surreal, and I haven’t been able to do that in a long time. It’s a lot.”

“I bet,” Sarai said.

“I want more, but I don’t know if she’s ready.”

“Are you?”

“I don’t know. We agreed that we should keep talking, so we have been texting a little here and there, trying to catch up and get to know each other again. I was going to see if she wanted to get together this weekend.”

“Why not tonight?”

“I’ve got too much work to do tonight, and from her texts this morning, she does, too. They’re still dealing with the customer backlash from the data breach. Now, before you ask – yes, I have the tips-for-avoiding-scams doc ready. I just need to share it with you.”

“I wasn’t going to ask, but thank you,” Sarai said before she stole a French fry off her girlfriend’s plate and ate it.

Gabi didn’t seem to mind, and she stuck her own fork into the green beans on Sarai’s plate. Arlowe hated to admit it to herself, but she wanted that, too.

“I was thinking about asking if she wants to do something Friday night, but that would make it sound too much like a date, right?”

“Not if you don’t call it a date or act like it’s one,” Sarai replied. “But if you want it to be a date, shouldn’t you just ask her out?”

“I want to take things one step at a time. We had coffee, and that was awkward as hell. Then, we went for a drink, and I chose some stupid bar instead of one I’m comfortable in, and we ended up leaving to code all night, which was amazing. Now, she’s spent some time with all of you again, and it’s nice. It feels like she fits, doesn’t it?”

“Arlowe, Eline has always fit with you. We could all see it then, and we still saw it at the bar,” Sarai said.

“I saw it then, too, and I was only there for a weekend,” Gabi added.

“What if I fall in love with her again?”

“Oh, please,” Sarai said, laughing.

“What?” she asked.

“Arlowe, there is no again. You’ve always been in love with her. You might have had some short relationships, gone on dates, kissed some women, slept with a few, and all that, but you’ve never loved anyone other than her, and you never actually fell out of love with her. Why do you think it hurt so much? This whole time, you’ve been in love with someone whom you thought you couldn’t have. Now, here she is, and you can.”

“So, you’re saying I should just go for Friday night and see what happens? Date or not?”

“Yes,” Sarai stated.